No New Friends

As Drake said, no new friends...the Jumoke's friendship has sailed and left the port..lool. Am sure you guys think am crazy, let me expatiate...learning my big words people lool

So my friend introduced me to this new guy like two weeks ago, and I just knew right off the bat, he is not 'the one' firstly he sounded like a 40 year old Yoruba man and he can't speak English..hmm he's definitely not the one. After some few polite conversations, I told him I was not interested, he said he would still like to be friend, nah I don't think so and I deleted him off bbm. He got upset and reported me to our mutual friend and said he just wanted to be my friend, see me see wahala, is it by force to be friends...no new friends.

I think I should say no new guy friends, I am not interested in having any new guy friends in my life at this moment, especially the ones that like you but you know nothing is ever going to happen, if I keep having those type of guy friends, they would just clog your life and there would be no space for the one to see you talk less of entering. 

Even if am going to put guys in the friend zone, it should be a silent but mutual agreement, like we both know we don't like each other and nothing is ever going to happen and so we have both zoned ourselves. I don't want someone to be in my friend zone and me in their maybe zone..nah..let both of us keep it moving if we can't have a mutual agreement. The friendship quota for new guy friends this year has even been used up already sef...I have only two slots for every other year lool, with the way am talking, you would think I have guys begging to be my friend.

There's no problem with making friends, I always say don't go around meeting new people thinking that's your next bf/gf or the next love of your life. You meet someone you like, build a friendship first and if it's going somewhere, good on you but if you know you are not feeling it but you still want to remain friends, that's good but make sure both of you get the memo that you have zoned each other, not one person still hoping and you leading them on.

I don't know if what I did to the guy was harsh, but it was better in the long run, even if he didn't want to date me again, I knew we could not be friends so why bother hanging on..let's keep it pushing.

So that's my rant for this Wednesday, thanks for reading. See you next Wednesday xoxo

So Different

 Boys and girls are just different, am sure everyone is going 'duh' I know it's the most obvious thing ever but it is still fascinating to see how each gender views relationship so differently, like their wires don't cross. Men are really from Mars and women from Venus. Let me explain what is bringing about all these thoughts

A good friend of mine came to visit me last week, we are pretty close , so he was telling me about his love life and how he had like four girls he was talking to and all of them thinks he likes them and he does, at the same time he was telling me about a girl he met the day before and they got talking but it was nothing, only for my nigga to call the girl in the evening and then start dropping lines like and I quote 'if you look at yourself in the mirror, you would know why I am talking to you' huh I was beyond shocked and you could hear the girl giggling and sounding so excited..if only she knew.

So I asked my friend after the phone call why he is leading the girl on like that, when he has four other girls that believe he likes them and he could not explain it. He didn't realize when he started dropping the lines, he met a fine girl and he had to. And that got me thinking about how different boys and girls think in relationships, like every boy I meet is always talking and tracking more than one girl which I don't understand, while girls when they meet a boy they like, most times that's the end, they are sticking to that one guy.

I don't understand why boys can't just meet a girl they like and stick to that one, try and build something, but no oo, they keep looking for better options, it's like they believe the grass is always greener okay if that's what you think. The truth is that there would always be a girl or boy finer, richer, more put together than your bf/gf, what you should be searching for is the person that makes you happy and loves you.which is getting harder to find in this 21st century, so if you meet that kind of person, you better realize how blessed you are and stick with that person.

But I guess boys would always be boys, and girls would always be girls, the pattern of thinking in a relationship would always be different. 

Hope you enjoyed reading the post. Have a grt week guys and see you next Wednesday

Don't Be Nice

Sometimes you just have to be an arse, rain on people's parades..yh I know it sounds mean but sometimes being mean to people is how you get them to become better in life.

I had this friend who was in a long term relationship, she had been dating the boy for four years, when she started to realize that the relationship was not just working, she and the boy had drifted apart and had become two different people over the years, but she was too scared to break it off because she didn't want to be seen as a bad person, until last year the boy proposed out of the blue, she said yes because it was in a public setting but the next day, she sat the boy down and explained how she felt and that she wanted a break up. The boy obviously got upset and people thought she was evil, but she had to be an arse because she knew being married to that boy will just cause sadness and pain for both of them and the marriage might end in divorce...so would you say she should still have gotten married because she didn't want to be seen as a bad person, if she had remained in that relationship, that would just have been pure selfishness.

Or like this guy my friend introduced me to recently, he told my friend he liked me and so he decided to match make us, immediately I started talking to the guy, I knew nothing could happen between us and I had to tell him, that nothing could happen between us, and we can't be friends either because lord knows I really don't need any new friends in my life especially boys, and I deleted him off my bbm, that might sound harsh but the fact is the boy liked me and would probably not have settled for us just being friends...so why not be the 'bad guy' now and let the boy jejeley move on..abi

Another friend who was battling weight issues, she was overweight and it was beginning to affect her health, and she was in a relationship with a really skinny guy, who never cautioned her or help her with her weight issues...he even used to over feed her sometimes and make her eat junk, until he left her for a skinner person. She met another guy and started dating him, this guy decided to help her become fit, he would even go as far as threatening to break up with her if he felt she was relapsing, he was not going to but he knew that being an arse like that would save his girlfriend's life. 

I hate when I see guys lead girls on and vice versa, and then say oh I don't know how to tell the person I don't like them, so you think the person prefers you leading them on when you know it's not going anywhere...let me tell you, ending things with people and letting them know your true feelings is always appreciated, nobody wants to be lied too and if anyone takes the news badly and thinks you are arse..then oh well if being nice and honest is what makes you an arse..then I guess you are. 

Disillusioned

Hi guys, happy Wednesday..welcome to the blog of life

So at the beginning of the week, a male friend of mine in Nigeria called me up and said he wanted to surprise his girlfriend that lives in UK by getting her a gift on her birthday, and he wanted me to plan it because i had organized the valentine's day surprise he had for her. When i was telling my friends about it and how excited i was about planning the surprise, they thought i was crazy, because of the stress, the girl lives in a different city from me and i had very little time to get the gifts, but i just really didn't care about how stressful it was going to be. I was excited because doing things like this helps me emotionally...let me explain a bit

So since Mr S and I parted ways, i have just not being feeling great emotionally. Then a guy and i started talking late last year, but it was not that serious but i was starting to like him and all of a sudden, I find out he actually had a girlfriend.. and if u hear how serious this boy sounded when ever he was talking about 'us' , i could not believe when i found out he had a girlfriend...and after that I started feeling downcast and was just thinking if I would ever find 'the one' and be loved and happy.

In this 21st century, dating had just become harder and you are never sure of people's intentions and if they are true and if they really want to be with you. Its so easy to become disillusioned about love and just give up, but i have decided to keep the spirit and hope alive which is very hard, so doing little projects like surprising the girl on her birthday courtesy of her boyfriend makes me happy, because i get to live through them...its nice to see two people care about each other deeply and do nice and thoughtful things to make each other happy.

So as not to turn into a dejected individual and a man-hater, i try to find things that make me happy and reignite my belief in love, so when i am not planning surprise pop-ups , i decided to get a new hobby, i watch proposal and wedding videos on YouTube...i know it sounds sad and weird but its just nice to see that people still do fall in love and people still find that one person that makes them happy...and it makes not give up on love..i know very soon i will find the one.

I know this post is a bit sappy and emotional, but i live alone and am tired of talking to myself..so i decided to share it with my blogfam. So to all the single people like me, hoping to find love soon..don't give up, its on the way and don't get downcast when relationships or people fail...just know its preparing you for a better future.

Also please check out this wonderful blog www.victorypath.wordpress.com #amazing articles

 Hope y'all have a great week..see you next Wednesday. xoxo

Materialistic or Not

'I can't date him, he doesn't have a car'...she said to me...

Am sure you guys are wondering what that was all about..well twitter started it...let's back track a bit. It all started with a convo I had with a friend...which is the inspiration for this post. I don't know if you guys heard about the boy that proposed to his girlfriend on twitter...blah blah..cute story and all, so my friend and I were talking about it and I was telling how cute it was that the girl was with the boy when he had nothing and would jump bikes and buses with him....my friend just said what's cute about jumping buses...I was like I don't mind taking the bus with my boyfriend...but my friend said she can never take a bus or bike with a boy because she can't date a boy that doesn't have a car.

.

My first thought after that sentence was she's so materialistic..but we started talking about what being materialistic meant, my friend didn't care if people judged her as materialistic because of some of her opinions on dating. Like my friend can't date a boy shorter or the same height as her, she can't stand boys that can't speak or dress well and she can't be with a boy that doesn't have a car. Okay so all her cants sound very superficial..yes!!!..she knows she is superficial and doesn't mind.

After the convo ended, I was still thinking about what we said...and what kept going through my head was how materialistic her views are but I had to stop myself and ask what really is the yardstick for judging how materialistic someone is...cos girls love to judge esp with the 'Aye' song by Davido which is the song of the moment.. but who doesn't love the finer things in life...I know I want a husband that can afford to get a Ferrari, it doesn't have to be right now but does that make me materialistic. I really don't think my friend is materialistic at all..she just knows what she wants and doesn't want....yes our views are very different...I don't mind dating 'the promising future guy' while she would only date the one that his promised future has arrived and is shining brightly...

Also, I really don't have an issue with my friend...not with how much care she expends on her body...always working on being the best girl ever, so why can't she get the best boy ever. I dislike when people judge girls for being materialistic...cos if wanting the finer things in life makes you materialistic then every girl is materialistic in one way or the other...girls don't let's lie to ourselves, we know money makes a boy more attractive...I can feel all the side-eye being given right now..am just saying its attractive when a boy is successful...but its all good, because am sure its a wonderful feeling to be with someone you love and build up a great future from the scratch together.

Before I go, I have to give a shout-out to an awesome person, Mr K, he helped create the event planning mobile app for my school project and I just want to say thank you...he is also a reader of the blog....thank you!!!!!!!.

See you guys next Wednesday #stayblessed xoxo

Love or Lust At First Sight

                                        

So am on the train which is practically my new house...am always going somewhere, and I was thinking about something a friend told me, which is also the same question I have been wrestling with for a while. Is there anything really like Love at First Sight.

Okay so I met this guy...let's call him Mr O, we met through a friend some weeks back and started talking...it was nothing at first..just harmless convos and then later it started getting a bit deep but I was really not in the mood for anything serious and then he just said something..I am falling in love with you...huh....wait is that how you fall in love with someone?

 I also just met another guy, who I really like but am so scared to go further because all he talks about is how he is in love with me and blah, blah...like we have barely spent any time together.. so how did he fall in love with someone that he barely knows...

And then few weeks later...my friend told me about this guy that she met and few days later..the boy said he was in love with her. Wait am not getting all this microwave love ish...is that how people fall in love now...well it's the digital age innit. 

The thing is I can be very cynical, maybe its due to my recent and first heartbreak or that am not just someone who believes in the love at first sight, but I just believe when people talk about love at first sight..they actually mean lust at first sight, you meet someone but what probably attracts you to the person is their physical qualities...so that's probably what you 'love'. Its fine to be in 'lust' at least that can progress to 'love'

But what do I know, maybe people do actually fall in love at first sight...there are always exceptions to every rule they say ...still don't believe in it though. 

So what do you guys think...do you believe in love at first sight?

Well that's the post for the week..hp you enjoyed it and have a blessed day

A Year Older

Hello blogfam...so my birthday was yesterday and it was fun...had a great time. So this post might be a bit short because am so tired and a bit hungover I think...am not even sure sef but I had to get myself out of bed and write a post cos I can't let you guys down

So yesterday I was a year older and it got me thinking because this time last year, I was with Mr S and spent my birthday with him and I have decided to tell you guys about the relationship lessons I learnt from being with Mr S because, even though I was hurt, my time with him has made me become a better person..

No preconceived notions..like don't go around thinking every boy you meet is the one..just meet people and build friendships, get to know them first as friends, before anything else...and this brings me to my second lesson..

Never assume...this was one of the best lessons I learnt, don't think you know what the other person is thinking or what they are feeling...let them spell it out for you. When you meet someone and you like the person and you think they like you back, ask them....let them define the relationship...if you know the person doesn't like you but is like kissing you, calling you like ten times...he/she is just leading you on...you will get hurt. Cut off all that and tell the person to keep moving.....

Thirdly, when it comes to relationships or forging new friendships, keep your expectations to the barest minimum, this is the greatest lesson ever...having the high expectations about someone who just likes you and is not even a boyfriend or girlfriend yet is just putting stress on you and the person's relationship. Keeping your expectations to the barest minimum helps you not to fget disappointed...

Lastly and most importantly, live your life....Never let a boy dictate your happiness, moods, interests...don't live your life for a boy, because you will end up regretting it..Even if you are in a relationship..it's great to have shared interests...but also have separate hobbies/interests....do things for yourself outside the relationship....Like I really wanted to do an Europe tour last year but because Mr S wasn't interested, I cancelled it and now I don't have the chance anymore. So people live your lives..be happy, thankful and grateful for life....YOLO baby!!!!

So that's all people...Jumoke's words of wisdom...loool. So hope you guys liked the post and learnt something....have a blessed and great day.