From A Guy's Point of View Part 2

So our relationship went off to a great start, we were an item, we were seen everywhere, went everywhere and we were the envy and admiration of all cause I was quite popular… the first three months were bliss, I met her parents and instantly her mum loved me, collected my number and was always calling me. Then the war started or should I say the turbulence. she started chatting with her Ex who was in Abuja I didn’t like it but I wanted to trust her wholeheartedly and give her, her space so I just warned it could backfire ooo.. 

At my back they were rekindling their love and he decided to come over for a week, unfortunately he had an accident, which made my girlfriend withdraw from me, all along I didn’t know this till I went to meet her and confronted her that our relationship was suffering. Then she opened up about the friend having an accident but didn’t tell me they had rekindled their relationship until I took her phone and saw their shared text messages… I was heartbroken, when I confronted her she shrugged it off till I pressed harder and she confessed I felt bad, this was another sign, SIGN 4, but I didn’t heed the warnings I forgave her, she forgot him, and we moved on . 

She started behaving nonchalantly about the relationships and I started seeing different text messages from different guys, when I couldn’t take it anymore I ended the relationship, that was going to be the first in a series of break ups and make ups.. She called me back after a week and we made up but she got from bad to worse, she started going on wild cruise, with different guys but I couldn’t do a thing because I loved her, loved her family and couldn’t just see her leave cause she meant everything to me. The next thing that started was she would tell me she wants to read when I call her and tell me to take a stroll with her friends and then go out with some other guy, it was terrible when my friends started seeing her in different guys cars when I had informed them I was going to see her or when am with her friends one day I caught her red handed and we broke up again. We made up after 3weeks. 

Then this time she was seeing an actor behind my back bearing my name it was bad when I found out, very bad. my friends told me to leave her for good but I couldn’t I was hooked, I fought with some of my friends on the issue and lost many girls that would have done anything just to be mine cause I was in love and the person I was in love with ,wanted me but still wanted to have fun at the same time.

The final nail on the coffin, was when she told me she kissed my very close friend. I thought that was all, I could forgive that till one of my friend told me that our friend actually slept with my supposed girlfriend. I was dumbfounded cause my friend would not lie to me and when I asked her she didn’t deny it though she didn’t say  anything. That was it, the final straw I couldn’t go any further anymore. I was done, and I wasn’t going to date anymore in my life. 

3years down the line am dating again and the irony is tolu sent me a message on Facebook and said she wanted me back and regrets everything she had done in the past but it’s a case of being too late. It’s over now and thinking about it now I thank God cause she taught me a lesson and I appreciate love more contrary to what people might say after reading this, and I appreciate people that show true love and I try to give it back in return.

                                                              THE END 

Hmmm....I dont even know what to say. Would just wait for you guys to comment....so wt do you guys think about this story?

Jerk 8: From A Guy's Point of View

 Hello everyone and Happy Easter!!!

So I got this from a male reader and he said he wants to show us that girls can be jerks too....so here is his story..its pretty long so I decided to break it into two parts...Enjoy

                                                  

                                                    THE BEGINNING

It all started in University of Lagos, guest house the Department  of Architecture had their barbecue night close to the swimming pool I was reluctant to go but I was bored and my friends were persuasive, so I decided to go, this was in 300Level first semester. when I got to the place I started looking around to pass time since I didn’t drink and the chicken/suya wasn’t ready. My eyes stumbled on the most beautiful face ever I never knew that meeting was one I was going to regret later in the future. She was beautiful, had an innocent face, had a blue contact on and had my heart skip, but the sad part was she was with some other guy, now am the kind of person that doesn’t go after someone’s girl but she was different and I at least wanted to know if they were going out for real or they were just great, I was seriously hoping it was the later. So when the guy stepped aside to probably go get something I made my move, which was propelled by my friend who told me to make the move that what would I lose, the highest I would get is a NO. So with my heart skipping I approached the goal.

  

Finally I was in front of her and I said hello faintly, she sized me up, looked me up to down and said the coldest HI, I had heard in a while..lol.. so I told her I loved her contacts it rhymed with her face and to be honest with her, she had the most beautiful face I had ever seen and this was not a line I picked up just to use to get to her, she smiled and from there we started discussing on different topics from likes, to school, to hobbies and finally I asked the question on my mind all the time. ‘Is the guy with you, your boyfriend’, she laughed and answered he was only a friend that wanted something more but she cant go out with him, just passing the evening with him cause she was bored, I should have seen the signs then, but I was too blind to see. So we talked till the supposed friend came back.. seeing his angry face with chicken laps in his hand and a drink, which I obviously knew was for the girl, I told Tolu (that’s the name of the girl) I had to take my leave but she objected sighting the fact she was enjoying my company but I wasn’t ready to ruin any guys  day or night I rejected and left.

After such a night I felt so good Infact I felt great but the problem was I never got a number cause the guy didn’t allow me flow to the end..lol.. and I was too intoxicated by the tingling of my stomach, that it didn’t come to mind to ask. So my job the next day was to find her in my faculty cause she was in Zoology and I was in Genetics, but a search I thought would last highest a week, continued for a whole semester to no avail but I couldn’t get her off my mind, so the following semester I went to do my IT in General Hospital, tried going on dates with other girls but they didn’t just click for me.

Then one night at the office, I was chatting with a friend on Facebook I had not talked to for a while, she was in Babcock. we went on and on and started my flirting skills on her at least maybe something would come out of it, besides the medical students at the teaching Hospital were either not fine, not ready for a serious relationship or engaged so it was no use. As the discussion continued with the damsel, one thing led to another and we talked about my school, she now told me she has a friend there in Zoology, this statement caught my curiosity and TOLU came to mind, so I asked what is the name of this friend of yours, I was really hoping it would be the same person, and then she replied Tolu, okay I was so shocked but then it dawned on me it could be another Tolu, but my problem was I didn’t know the surname of the mysterious girl, and didn’t know if it was the same person, so my BU friend told me the surname of her Tolu friend and I told her, rather begged her to give me the number of her friend but it didn’t go down well with Sola my BU friend cause she was already liking the attention I was giving her. It took me 3days to get that number. 

After getting the number I called the next day, obviously she didn’t remember me again cause it was over a semester and few weeks since we last saw. So I narrated the story of how we met, and everything but my initial magic when we met didn’t work through the phone cause she was cold through out the conversation. After 3months of trying to be her friend cause am not a guy that gives
up easily she finally started warming up to me. So we set on a day to meet and talk. That day finally came , I went to the popular Huskis at New Hall to meet her, as usual for most ladies she came late, 15minutes I wasn’t too upset cause am sure she was thinking about loads of things and maybe she was having second thoughts. When she eventually met, we ordered for drinks which I paid for.lol. and then we started talking and in next to no time my charm got to her and she was giggling, laughing and blushing but I never made my intention known at all cause I wanted to be sure I liked her for real not just some infatuation and she felt the same way too. But in the midst of the fun and all her friend came, and told me straight to my face, her boyfriend was waiting for her, I was dumbfounded but this was another sign that I should have paid more attention to, I was so shocked, but Tolu begged me and told me her friend was just looking for a way to get her away from me, that they had both planned a rescue plot in case I wasn’t fun to be with and all. I laughed though it wasn’t funny and the friend was insisting tolu followed her, instead of dragging the case I told tolu to follow her friend that we would see another time. 

So after the episode I called some of my girlfriends in Law to help me search the background of tolu and everything I needed to know, I called them ‘THE ALL-KNOW GIRLS’ cause they could know everything about a girl in a week. After a week they told me not to go ahead cause they didn’t just like the aura she was releasing though she was not the wild kind of girl but they said her way wasn’t straight, I took this but instead of listening to my trusted friends which was my third sign, I decided to go with my heart. So I started going to school from work and after a month I asked her to date me, I wanted to go out with her, I wanted a relationship. she said she wanted to think about it, that she’s not in a rush to go into a relationship, she wants to be single for a while.. I played the song “Long distance by Brandy” It became our song…. I gave her a week to make a decision cause I knew she already knew the answer from the moment I asked. So after a week, she said yes and I was the happiest man on earth. Little did I know the story was just beginning…..

Leading On

So today I want to talk to my male readers, was surprised that so many guys read this blog and I would like to talk about something I find very annoying and disturbing which is the issue of leading on,

Why do boys always lead girls on when they know they are not going to date them....I always get really upset when I think about it because it something that has happened to me a lot and I think so many girls.

I was talking to a friend recently and she was really heartbroken, she met a guy, really liked him and stuff...the boy liked her too...blah blah....and he would call her everyday, send her romantic msgs...the whole nine yards and this went on for like four months...kk let's date, he doesn't want to, before you knw it...my dear friend is now in the friend zone...imagine

I think that's the most annoying thing abt this issue because after they have led you on, they would na put you in friend zone or worse sef....family zone, start calling you 'sis' as if you asked for a brother and obviously if you bring up the issue of dating...they would start saying 'sis you knw that......'

Why would you meet a girl, you knw you have no intention of dating her or getting into a relationship with her, you would call her everyday, send her msgs, call her baby, wifey, darlin, sweets, buy her gifts nd stuff....have sex with her and its not like you guys decided on friends with benefits oo. Then when the girl wants something serious, thats when the guy would realize the girl is annoying, she's too serious, she's ruining everything....am sorry...guys what did you expect

Another irritating dimension is that the boy would na not let the girl go...after he puts her in friend zone, he won't let go, he would hold on like she's his property..but to do the right thing then...neva. Let the girl go and find the happiness she deserves, if she cuts you out of her life..she's not being childish....that's just her own way of dealing with her emotions

Words of advice guys, if you know you don't want to date a girl, don't lead her on, at least tell her what you want from the beginning and if she still wants to go along for the ride, then great. Also don't call a girl that you know likes you but you don't, darlin or ur future wifey, that's just putting ideas in her head...let her be. And if a girl decides to leave because you dnt have your shit together, don't be angry.....you too move on and leave her alone.

So I hope guys read this and they stop leading girls on, its not nice to be led on when the girl is anticipating something serious..it probably wont stop but at least I hv said my piece... thank you very much for reading.

Stay or Go

Hey everyone...hope you guys had a great weekend, so as you guys should know by now...am always thinking, yh I have so much spare time....so as usual I was thinking about something last night.

As you all know, having been going on different dates and just dating and I met a guy recently, lets call him Mr S, he's really cool, very funny honest and really cute *blushing*....yh like finally shey but!!!!. there's a big BUT.

Why is that guys of nowadays have to be hit on the head, slapped on the face and poked before they budge nd take the initiative to do something.....guys would like a girl but to even 'court' is like wahala for them. Mr S is really cool and I know he likes me but to ping or call is trouble. It's becomes even more annoying when I have missed him so much and I can't take it anymore, I ping him and then he takes ages to reply, I know he doesn't do it to only me, cos all his friends complain about it too.

Apart from that, you have to push him to say I miss you or something nice, when my friend was going to introduce me to the guy, she said he was a romantic and he is practically the best thing since sliced bread....he can actually be but he doesn't act like it.

When I could not take it anymore, I decided to ask him about his nonchalant attitude towards dating and he told me about a past relationship that broke his heart and my heart just sunk, cos I realized what I just got myself into....another relationship where I have to prove to the boy I don't even know what, and I would have to poke, pamper....aint got no time for that yo

I kept thinking to myself it's better I stop now, at least we are not in a relationship yet...we are still figuring stuff out, cos am too old to get into another relationship where i have to keep pushing, poking the boy until he decides to start doing stuff, and I also don't have the energy because I know the nonchalance is only going to abate when he meets the right person and am I that right person?....am not so sure with the way things are going.

I keep asking myself should I stay or go?....I want to stay because he is the first person I have really liked in a long time and I know he likes me but I also think about leaving because when I promised myself, my next relationship would be all about me, the boy doing all the running, chasing and pampering. Bt the ish is that we are not even near the relationship stage at all....so maybe all I need is to give Mr S time because all I have heard about him are good things and he makes me happy.

Sorry about all the mushy, mushy stuff....so not me bt it's bin awhile I have met a guy that makes me smile. I was actually not going to write about it...wanted to keep it a secret for as long as I could but this issue was killing me...so I decided to blog abt it....gosh I talk too much *smh*. Bye

The Rules of Dating

Hey guys, have not updated in awhile...so sorry about that...I might not be able to update as frequently as b4 but would try to write a post at least twice in a week. So lets get down to business...my life has changed quite a bit nw...still trying to figure if its a good change...so with that, thinking has become my best hobby and having bin thinking abt smethin for awhile now which is the rules of dating.

So the rules of dating, I was wondering like who created these rules...as far as I know, no one has claimed those rules..people have just modified them and used them in books....like have been meeting guys and going on dates...just dating in generally and sometimes I feel like am breaking the rules

Like we all know the number one rule is don't kiss on the first date, so when do you kiss the boy if you keep going on dates with the same boy and you know you like him....is the second, third or fourth. But have spoken to guys who said if they were really attracted to a girl and if she kissed them on the first night, they wont mind........

Another one is how many dates do you have to go on with a boy before it becomes appropriate to cook for the boy, obviously I don't think you can cook on the first date....hmmm am nt even sure sef....because in the Nigerian culture, cooking for a boy is a big deal....so maybe the first date might not be so appropriate....but who cares sef...if you feel like cooking for him on the first date..go ahead, if you like sef...you can tell him to bring his laundry and you would do it for him...it's your dating life.

Then one of the most important one is how many dates should you have gone on before you fart in front of the boy, am really serious abt this one...having been thinking abt it, like how long should I have known the boy for before I fart in front of him....I don't knw if I would ever fart in front of a boy I like....am too shy for all that one. I think it's best to wait till the guy becomes a boyfriend...then he can't really run away, at least he won't leave you cos you farted but then you never know...the smell would probably determine that.

Also when do you meet his friends? , how long would it take you to introduce your friends to a boy you like but you are not in a relationship with....how long does it take for a boy to introduce a girl he's just dating but not in a relationship with to his friends

I dnt knw, I just feel like there are so many rules and they just restrict people from being themselves and pursuing what they want, like the rule that says don't ping, text or call a boy u like first, they should call you first....I think if you follow that rule...you would grow bei bei waiting by the phone...cos I think boys of nowadays have to be hit on the head before they act and its not because they don't like the girl, they just don't think. If you want something, pursue it....run after it and hunt it down yo.

Like I have a friend who broke all the rules, she liked a boy and the boy liked her too but as usual, the boy refused to take the first step, the girl didn't let that deter her...she decided to pursue the boy, she didn't ask the boy out but she called, checked on the boy, cooked for him, made herself am important presence in the boy's life and voila...she is in a very happy relationship with the boy.

Rules are meant to broken and especially now that boys are blind to coy ish and are not really into the game again.....you have to grab what you want....run after it and get your happiness and joy. I believe these rules just stop people from getting what they want, like these rules probably worked in the former decades but not anymore.

So why don't you call, ping or text that boy, even if you are the first one to, invite him to your house even if its the third date....kiss him on the second date....if you want sef first date bt if you don't hear from him again...oh well...

All am just saying is that i have learnt in this journey of dating is that dont let the rules stop you from achieving your goal or getting what you want.

Why are bad boys more fun

 Hey blogfam, I am so sorry I have not updated the blog in awhile.......my life has being turned upside lately but in a good way. Hope everyone is having a great weekend like I am...

So I was doing some thinking yesterday night...that's all I do and I kept asking myself one question I have not been able to answer in this perilous journey of dating

The question is why are bad boys more fun? Like its definitely the question of life.....I have been single for a while now but over the years I have been involved with some bad boys. When I say bad boys...I don't means boys that smoke, drink and all of those other vices but boys that you know are not good for your heart or your health.

Bad boys are the ones giving you high blood pressures, near heart attacks, and you just want to kill them but you can't...they keep messing up but you stick with them because most times they have a good heart but they keep making wrong decisions.

The thing about is that they are so much fun....even if they are breaking your heart and you want to leave....they just reel you back in. Like a friend of mine is in that kind of relationship, the guy has cheated on her countless times but every time she tries to get away, he draws her back with presents, lyrics of life...he has even gone as far as planning a surprise party to say sorry..and she goes back to him. And when she comes to me crying about the guy, I ask her why she won't leave him but according to her he does the sweetest things and buys her the perfect gifts

I can't really judge because I have also had a bad boy in my life...that one guy that you know you should leave but you can't because most times they are the ones that get you even though they keep messing up. I think bad boys can be so sweet and do the nicest things especially when they mess up, but I think it gets to a time when you start to realize that at some point fun is not everything and that some stability is needed....in walks the 'good guys'.

The good guy might not be fun but at least they provide you with some stability and am going to contradict myself here by saying that sometimes all you want is the fun the bad boy brings. Also sticking with a bad boy might turn out well...look at Anne Idiba...she stuck with the bad boy and won....am sure she wakes up every morning screaming I won...cos if it was me, thats what I would be doing.

So I still can't figure out why bad boys are always fun even though they keep breaking hearts....so why do you guys think bad boys are always more fun?

Friends with The Ex?

 Hi guys....am back again. So this post is inspired by a reader of this blog, she wanted me to bring up this topic of Can you be friends with your ex, especially if he hurt you really badly. And she also asked if its right or wrong.

Hmm first of all I don't think it has to do with being right or wrong, it has to do with you...having said that, I don't even know how to answer the other part of the question because I think it's different strokes for people...but am going to use my past relationships to answer this question. I actually believe you can be friends with your ex but definitely not immediately after the relationships because the memories are still raw and probably painful, like with my first relationship, I think first relationships are the coolest but the saddest when you break up because I believe there's always so much love in the relationship. So when I broke up with my first boyfriend, my world crumbled, I was a mess and I cried everyday, both of us didn't hurt each other but we just realized it was no working but it took me a while to be friends with him, I actually deleted his number, deleted him from my Facebook....after a year when I knew I was in a better place and stronger...I decided to be friends with him.

It was different with my second relationship, I really really liked the guy, we were unofficial for a year and two months after we made it official, we broke up because we both had issues and he did things that hurt me but I still liked him, and I decided to remain friends with when we broke up but it was the hardest thing ever....I could not just be friends with him, it took like two years of no contact with him to actually get to a place where I could at least be civil with him...but even up to now, I really don't want to be friends with him.

As for me I like to remain friends with my ex but definitely not immediately after we break up and I have been lucky enough for them not to hurt me badly but judging from my friends experiences, I think if the guy hurt you really badly and is now begging to be your friend, it all depends on you, if you think you can handle, then be his friend but if you think you are not ready then cut him out of your life at least till you sort out your emotions and can handle it, I always tell my friends give it a year or two.

But if you don't want to be at all...I don't think it's a problem, even though I have heard people say its childish not to be friends with your ex or if you delete him off bbm and your contacts, I don't think so, I just believe its because you don't want his negative energy around you.

As I said earlier, it's different strokes for different people, everyone has a different view and approach to this situation. It all depends on you and what you think. If you think you want the friendship and you can handle it, then go for it, if not,cut him out of your life. Shikena

So you guys what do you think of this...Can you be friends with your ex? Do you think it's a right or wrong situation? Can't wait to hear from you guys. Have a great week

Cheating?

 Hey guys, so sorry have been MIA for awhile, schoolwork has been crazy, so to make up for all that, am going to be posting two stories today....Yaay!!!! So let's get started, first of all I want to talk about something I was thinking about.

I was talking to a friend of mine and she just found out her boyfriend had been asking for naked pictures from girls and has also been sexting them....I didn't even know Nigerians knew about sexting and she was really upset, so I was just trying to calm her down, and I asked her what she wants to do now with the relationship, because the boy has cheated on her once, and she shocked me when she said she was going to take the boy back and I reminded her about the other time he cheated, and she said something that baffled me and still does, she said at least he didn't have sex with the girls this time around, and that she didn't count the sexting and the nude pictures as cheating, she was only upset because she didn't know why her boyfriend didn't find her attractive again and he felt the need to ask for nude pictures from other girls.

This got me thinking that what do people now classify as cheating, because its like the lines and definition of cheating has been blurred, like I know I should not judge because people have different circumstances, but to me cheating involves my boyfriend kissing another girl, sexting, asking for nude pictures, it doesn't even have to involve sex, as far as you are thinking of another girl and then you start acting upon it...that's cheating, even if its a drunken kiss...why should a boy get so drunk, he doesn't know when a girl is kissing him.

Then this also got me thinking that how many times does a boy have to cheat on a girl, before she ends the relationship. I can remember when I used to tell my friends that a boy just has one strike and he's out but then I started reconsidering my decision when my friend's boyfriend cheated on her and she was so heartbroken, like the guy was dating the other babe for like a year, bought her everything she asked for and how my friend found out was because the other babe would call her and taunt her, then the boy broke it off, and that was like two years ago and my friend's relationship is back on track and they seem really happy.

This made me start thinking that maybe guys can actually change but then I feel like the trust would be no more there and it takes a while for it to be built again but I believe if the two people involved are ready, it might take time but it can be built again.

But I believe there are times that it's very obvious in some cheating situations when you should end it with the guy, even if it's his first time, like when a friend of mine was living in London with her boyfriend and then the boy went to Nigeria to visit, and two months after he got back to London, the boy tells her he got someone pregnant in Nigeria....my friend was heartbroken but she stuck with the boy and I was wondering why but it was not my place to tell her what to do, even though they are still together, the boy is now a repeat offender.

So those are my thoughts....so what do you guys think about cheating, what's cheating to you and how many strikes can a guy/girl get before he or she's out? Would love to hear your thoughts.
 

Now That's A Date

Hey blogfam, so sorry have not posted in such a long time, I had school stuff...so excited am done. Thanks for all your comments in the last post...really appreciate . So you guys probably think am pathetic..yh I know..my stories make me seem like that but I actually met a really nice guy last week.

So my friends have taken it upon themselves to set me up with a guy....even my male friends, they think its their destiny in life to find me a guy. Anyways one of my male friends has a friend that has a friend that also schools in Birmingham...yh I know...the connection of life. So the guy called me, he was really nice on the phone. So am just going to call this guy Mr G, we texted a lot and he also called, he actually helped me remember you can still contact someone with text messages....it's been awhile...but he was really cool... he didn't use 'lool' anyhow...that's a pet peeve of mine...I hate people that just write lool at everything...I know I have issues.

So Mr G finally asked if we could meet up, just to get to know each other better...I reluctantly agreed remembering my date of life with Sogo, I decided that we should go to the amusement park...it's fun, and if he's not cool...I won't have to listen to him all day since we would be on the rides. Since the guy was not on bbm, I had to stalk him the old-fashioned way....Facebook yo...during one of our texts, I asked him 'randomly' what his surname was...sharply I went on Facebook to stalk the guy...it's not my fault, I had to know how the person I was going to meet looked like.

The day finally came, I decided not to label it as a date because labels just cause unnecessary ish but Mr G thought it was, me I just wanted to have fun...it started off well, immediately we saw each other, we hit it off, laughed all the way to the park...and I knew it was going to be a good day when he didn't forget me in the cab or close the cab door on my leg.

When we got to the park, I wanted to try all the rides and we did, we ate all the hot dogs we could find, he even won me a teddy bear...yh Mr G was a darling...we definitely had so much fun. He held me really close when we went to the house of horrors. It was definitely a great date....probably the most fun date I have ever been on. I kept thinking to myself that now this is a date. Afterwards we went to eat, yh I allowed him to take me to eat...unlike Sogo. Mr G is definitely a great person to go on a date with, he was funny, listened to everything I said, was not too loud or obnoxious.

At the end of the night, he asked for a kiss but I allowed him to peck me on the cheek...I have to form small...can't go around kissing every guy I go on a great date with. To tell you the truth I would probably not date Mr G, we are definitely far from that but he's a fun person to go out with and he's a really cool guy. So yh I finally went on a great date....and hopefully I would get to go on more...gats to enjoy the single life before I get too old.

Just to remind you guys that you can send in your stories to adejumokesijuwade@gmail.com. Am sure you guys have some great stories and I would love to hear and share them. A happy birthday to my darlin....Damilola. Hp u have a great day. Bye