Materialistic or Not

'I can't date him, he doesn't have a car'...she said to me...

Am sure you guys are wondering what that was all about..well twitter started it...let's back track a bit. It all started with a convo I had with a friend...which is the inspiration for this post. I don't know if you guys heard about the boy that proposed to his girlfriend on twitter...blah blah..cute story and all, so my friend and I were talking about it and I was telling how cute it was that the girl was with the boy when he had nothing and would jump bikes and buses with him....my friend just said what's cute about jumping buses...I was like I don't mind taking the bus with my boyfriend...but my friend said she can never take a bus or bike with a boy because she can't date a boy that doesn't have a car.

.

My first thought after that sentence was she's so materialistic..but we started talking about what being materialistic meant, my friend didn't care if people judged her as materialistic because of some of her opinions on dating. Like my friend can't date a boy shorter or the same height as her, she can't stand boys that can't speak or dress well and she can't be with a boy that doesn't have a car. Okay so all her cants sound very superficial..yes!!!..she knows she is superficial and doesn't mind.

After the convo ended, I was still thinking about what we said...and what kept going through my head was how materialistic her views are but I had to stop myself and ask what really is the yardstick for judging how materialistic someone is...cos girls love to judge esp with the 'Aye' song by Davido which is the song of the moment.. but who doesn't love the finer things in life...I know I want a husband that can afford to get a Ferrari, it doesn't have to be right now but does that make me materialistic. I really don't think my friend is materialistic at all..she just knows what she wants and doesn't want....yes our views are very different...I don't mind dating 'the promising future guy' while she would only date the one that his promised future has arrived and is shining brightly...

Also, I really don't have an issue with my friend...not with how much care she expends on her body...always working on being the best girl ever, so why can't she get the best boy ever. I dislike when people judge girls for being materialistic...cos if wanting the finer things in life makes you materialistic then every girl is materialistic in one way or the other...girls don't let's lie to ourselves, we know money makes a boy more attractive...I can feel all the side-eye being given right now..am just saying its attractive when a boy is successful...but its all good, because am sure its a wonderful feeling to be with someone you love and build up a great future from the scratch together.

Before I go, I have to give a shout-out to an awesome person, Mr K, he helped create the event planning mobile app for my school project and I just want to say thank you...he is also a reader of the blog....thank you!!!!!!!.

See you guys next Wednesday #stayblessed xoxo

Love or Lust At First Sight

                                        

So am on the train which is practically my new house...am always going somewhere, and I was thinking about something a friend told me, which is also the same question I have been wrestling with for a while. Is there anything really like Love at First Sight.

Okay so I met this guy...let's call him Mr O, we met through a friend some weeks back and started talking...it was nothing at first..just harmless convos and then later it started getting a bit deep but I was really not in the mood for anything serious and then he just said something..I am falling in love with you...huh....wait is that how you fall in love with someone?

 I also just met another guy, who I really like but am so scared to go further because all he talks about is how he is in love with me and blah, blah...like we have barely spent any time together.. so how did he fall in love with someone that he barely knows...

And then few weeks later...my friend told me about this guy that she met and few days later..the boy said he was in love with her. Wait am not getting all this microwave love ish...is that how people fall in love now...well it's the digital age innit. 

The thing is I can be very cynical, maybe its due to my recent and first heartbreak or that am not just someone who believes in the love at first sight, but I just believe when people talk about love at first sight..they actually mean lust at first sight, you meet someone but what probably attracts you to the person is their physical qualities...so that's probably what you 'love'. Its fine to be in 'lust' at least that can progress to 'love'

But what do I know, maybe people do actually fall in love at first sight...there are always exceptions to every rule they say ...still don't believe in it though. 

So what do you guys think...do you believe in love at first sight?

Well that's the post for the week..hp you enjoyed it and have a blessed day

A Year Older

Hello blogfam...so my birthday was yesterday and it was fun...had a great time. So this post might be a bit short because am so tired and a bit hungover I think...am not even sure sef but I had to get myself out of bed and write a post cos I can't let you guys down

So yesterday I was a year older and it got me thinking because this time last year, I was with Mr S and spent my birthday with him and I have decided to tell you guys about the relationship lessons I learnt from being with Mr S because, even though I was hurt, my time with him has made me become a better person..

No preconceived notions..like don't go around thinking every boy you meet is the one..just meet people and build friendships, get to know them first as friends, before anything else...and this brings me to my second lesson..

Never assume...this was one of the best lessons I learnt, don't think you know what the other person is thinking or what they are feeling...let them spell it out for you. When you meet someone and you like the person and you think they like you back, ask them....let them define the relationship...if you know the person doesn't like you but is like kissing you, calling you like ten times...he/she is just leading you on...you will get hurt. Cut off all that and tell the person to keep moving.....

Thirdly, when it comes to relationships or forging new friendships, keep your expectations to the barest minimum, this is the greatest lesson ever...having the high expectations about someone who just likes you and is not even a boyfriend or girlfriend yet is just putting stress on you and the person's relationship. Keeping your expectations to the barest minimum helps you not to fget disappointed...

Lastly and most importantly, live your life....Never let a boy dictate your happiness, moods, interests...don't live your life for a boy, because you will end up regretting it..Even if you are in a relationship..it's great to have shared interests...but also have separate hobbies/interests....do things for yourself outside the relationship....Like I really wanted to do an Europe tour last year but because Mr S wasn't interested, I cancelled it and now I don't have the chance anymore. So people live your lives..be happy, thankful and grateful for life....YOLO baby!!!!

So that's all people...Jumoke's words of wisdom...loool. So hope you guys liked the post and learnt something....have a blessed and great day. 

Free Pass

 Hi guys....happy Wednesday ppl...time to get to business

Recently, I was having a chat with a very inspiring friend of mine and we were talking about cheating..I know I have spoken about it before on the blog..new readers can check that post out HERE but this post is in a new dimension...and we raised two questions which are why do boys get a free pass when it comes to cheating? Why do boys that cheat on their girlfriends consistently have a problem when she steps out too?. Well here are my thoughts on those questions.

Firstly, I think boys get free passes when it comes to cheating cos girls allow it, boys will keep cheating on a girl when he knows she is not going anywhere....before I used to think maybe it was the Nigerian culture but apparently it's everywhere....am not saying if your boyfriend cheats on you once and apologizes, that you should not forgive him, if you think you can work through it with him, then good luck to you guys... But if he consistently cheats on you and starts to flaunt it sef...no more under G stuff and you still stick with him, why won't the boy think he has a free pass. 

Secondly, I have no answer to the second question...I think it has something to do with their egos but what do I know.. maybe my male readers can help answer the question....like a close friend of mine was in a situation recently, her boyfriend kept cheating on her but she really liked the boy, so she didn't leave him but recently she became close to a co-worker and all they were doing was just talking, it was obvious the co-worker liked her but she still kept it platonic...then her boyfriend found out cos he goes thru her phone regularly...cn u imagine...then all hell broke loose...started screaming at the girl, called the co-worker and threatened him...the boyfriend almost had heart attack cos the girl was chatting to another boy, but he has like 5 side-chicks ooo...

When I was telling my male friend the story, his room mate said something that has made me lose hope in this male generation...he said men are not meant to be with just one person but girls are made for just one person...this is coming from a British trained Masters degree holder ooo...please help me find the sense in what he said. I was even thinking this was particular to the Nigerian society until the Fitz and Mellie situation in last week's scandal...let all my fellow scandal lovers say 'yeah'....see how Fitz that has been cheating on Mellie for at least four years went crazy cos she had a fling.....so I guess its not only Nigerian men that are wired like that.

So my male readers, why do men get upset when a girl cheats on you once...even though you have cheated on her countless times...we await your answers in the comment section.... And ladies if you also have an opinion on these questions..please feel free to chime in...

Thanks for reading...hp you have a grt day 

Shallow

 Happy new month blog fam.. hp you are all having a great week...well me am just working on my project...cnt wait to be done.

I used to think I was the least shallow person on earth...like I know I can be a bit judgemental but shallow...nah...or at least thts what I thought until two weeks ago..

I went for a house party and I really dressed up...was not really interested in meeting guys...I just wanted to dance...am probabli the most uncoordinated person ever but I still like dancing with my two left feet..so the party started and there were some cool guys around...wen the dancing started...I decided to hang back and see if any boy would approach me..yh I knw I said I went there for the dancing and not the guys..tht doesn't mean I shd not position myself where the 'one' can easily find me. Few minutes later, a cute, tall boy came to meet me and was talking to me till his friend called to come and get him from downstairs...so he excused himself and said he would be back. So I quickly went to pour myself a drink and as I was about to return to my position...someone tapped me and said hi, as I turned..there was hmmm..how do I say this without sounding mean..hmm there was a rather large guy blocking my way...so I said hi back and said excuse me, but he didn't move and said I really like your dress...I said thanks and as he was about to continue, I spotted the tall, dark guy..he was back and he smiled at me...so I rudely said I had to go and brushed past the guy. 

Mr tall-dark and I started dancing, and he was all grabby and very touchy...so I tried to push him bk and then before I knew it..he dragged me closer and was getting really scary....before I could say stop...I felt the guy being lifted from me...who was my knight in shining amour...the rather large guy...he kept asking if I was okay and if I wanted him to beat the guy...so sweet...but I told him I was fine. After the whole ish, I didn't feel like dancing again...so Mr rather large guy and I just sat in a corner and started gisting...it was amazing to find out how much we had in common and how cool he was.

After the party, I started thinking about how I always had problems with boys tht didn't find me attractive cos of my weight or because I didn't hv a flat tummy....nd it dawned on me tht I am no different from them...if I call them shallow...then I am also as shallow as them....cos I ignored a really nice guy cos he was not skinny..like hw crazy is tht.

I understand everyone has specs but don't let the specs become a bondage and then make you miss out on an amazing individual....and I think people should realize that everybody is a bit shallow in one way or the other...am happy Mr rather large guy was still persistent even though I was rude cos he is one of the nicest people I have ever met.. and the funniest thing is that he was not even interested in me...he has a gf...he just came to meet me cos I looked lonely...imagine..lool and me I was forming brush off....

You don't have to be upset if you don't find someone attractive cos of their physical appearance...just dnt flip out when the same thing happens to you...think before you judge them as shallow.....

So thts my post for this week...hv a grt week guys and wishing u a blessed month...