Too Comfortable

Hey blogfam...hp you guys are good and you are having a great week...me am battling with my assignments...that's why am awake at 4am blogging

So I don't know if its me that has issues but I want to talk to you guys about smethin....Mr S and I are doing pretty well as I said in my last post but I think we are getting too comfortable with each other...like am more comfortable with my morning breath ard him, he has seen me without makeup and have seen some his annoying habits like the way he chews gum...annoying sounds...i just want to slap the gum out of his mouth but i still like him.

Its not like being comfortable is a bad thing but you know when couples get into this rhythm and then start taking each other for granted....like you guys get too comfortable and then the efforts stop. So something happened recently that I have not been able to get off my mind....Mr S talks to me like am one of the guys...like am his G..loool

That's how two nights ago I called him and he just finished watching football...maybe he was on a football high...I don't knw sef bt his friends were saying something and that's hw Mr S just said I go buzz u later...hian...he said that's not what he said but that's what I heard sha....and that's not the end oo

When he called me last night, as we were ending our convo, what wud Mr S say, I just wanted to hail you...emi niyen oo...he wanted to hail me. I just think a boy speaking pidgin to a girl is just treating the girl as one of ur bros...so boys that's a little hint for zoning...if you want to zone a girl, start speaking pidgin to her.

Lastly, wen I saw him, he burped in my face while eating...kk don't let me exaggerate...he didn't burp in my face but he burped sha and it was not a graceful one....why would he burp...I knw I sound crazy but we are not at level of comfort yet...I don't fart when am wit him, at least if he had to burp, he shd hv done it gracefully. I cn only deal with one annoying habit at a time and I already hv tht with the chewing of gum but the ungraceful burping is a tad too far. 

Am sure some people are going to think am crazy but am I really?, don't you think sometimes couples get too comfortable with each other and then efforts at making each other happy and keeping the romance alive dies.....nd then the relationship just starts goin downhill

Dnt worri am nt going to leave Mr S because of his ungraceful burping and his gum chewing habits but I hv told him if he talks to me in pidgin again, he is on his own

So what do you guys think....am I crazy or is there a the comfort level that can become annoying?

Advice for A Reader

Hi guys, so I got this mail from a reader who has sent a story about a Jerk in her life before...u cn read that story here if u haven't http://theverysinglegirl.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/jerk-6-mr-f.html . Now she is in a happier place but she would like u guys to advise her. I know this is not a 'relationship' website per se but please read and advise her. Thanks

 Hi Jumoke,
Thanks for publishing my experience with Mr F. Now I've found the love I've been seeking but I'm in a dilemma, Finally,  someone who really cares about me asked me out last month, we have been friends for years though and, I was on top of the world. *shey I thot it would be harder*

Two weeks after agreeing to date him, I have lost all interest, if he doesn't call, I don't care, even if he pings, I don't feel like talking to him; I'm not as free as I used to be and I'm scared I might do the wrong thing for him to leave.

Sometimes last week, I asked him to leave me that I wasn't interested anymore and he had every reason for me to make him stay whether I wanted or not. I know I'm not treating him well and he's really trying.

I just dunno what's wrong with me or am I struggling to let go of the hurt? What can I do? I really don't want to hurt him and my mind is totally off.

Official or Unofficial

Hi guys, I know its bin a long while....so sorry but I have been so busy with school work and also had writer's block too but have finally broken the block...whoop!!!! So if u are an avid reader of this blog...you would know I have bin talking about Mr S for a while now and things are actually going really well.

So I went to visit a friend this weekend and we were just gisting when she asked how is ur boyfriend Mr S and I quickly told her he's not my boyfriend oo..we are just hanging out. I know my friend was just asking an innocent question and its easy for her to assume he is my bf especially with the amount of time Mr S and I spend together. Also its not like I dont want to date Mr S, its just that we have not had that convo....and I started thinking, how long should we be together for, before the convo happens...is there a set amount of months?

I miss those teenage years, u know when everything was just easy breezy *covergirl*.....that as long as u hold hands with a boy, or u guys talk all day and stuff...u knew u guys were boyfriend and girlfriend even without saying it..even if u guys didn't last long...at least u guys were sure of what you were.

There are signs that might suggest Mr S and I might make it official, we spend so much time together and we dont get bored with each other..he understands my sense of humor and makes me laugh..trust me that's hard. Also being official would make things easier..u know there are somethings I would like to talk to him about but then I cant because we are unoffcial..I dont want it to seem like am being pushy.

But I somehow like the fact that we are unofficial, cos I think labeling relationships sometimes destroys the easiness and fun...cos then you start to see and pick faults, also wen the guy doesn't do somethin that u know a bf should do...u get upset unlike when you were unofficial.

Anyways I would love to date Mr S, but we are in such a good place now, that I would just like to leave it like that. Am sure if we end up becoming official..it would be because its the right time and not because of the pressure to label the relationship.

So what do you guys think, how long should you wait to label a relationship after meeting someone  and who should bring up the topic

The Older Man

Hello blogfam..hp u guys are good nd u hd a great weekend...my weekend ws jst bleh. Anyways I hv gist for u guys..smethin happened to me tht got me thinking...as usual. I was with a friend in her house when two of her male friends came over and one of the guys was like looking at me sha..eyeing me yo..kk me too I was eyeing him sha... he was cute, dark, tall and well dressed..

Lets call him Mr T, so we started talking, he was realli cool, spoke good english and was pretty funny...anyways since that day we have bin talkin and its actualli good cos he takes my mind off Mr S...kk..the but is about to drop...He is 37yrs old..so thats like 13yrs old than me...

So I started thinking, can I date an older guy and I dont mean like two or three years older...i mean like ten years older. I dont know if its only me, I find older guys really sexy...the ones that dont look their age oo and are still very cool. I think older guys actually make good boyfriends, cos they know how to love, treat you right and also handle every drama you give them with sense. I dont know if its cos I just met Mr T, thats why am thinking like this but I think I hv always liked older guys.

But with our mentality in Naija, when you are with an older guy, everyone thinks you want his money, and I doubt if my mum would be so excited if I date an older guy, but the ish some older guys look way better than the younger ones but there's a downside to dating older guys, like am not yet dating Mr T and I feel constricted by the respect and age issue,like there are somethins I would have joked with a younger guy about and maybe even call him like olodo or something funny...I just feel like I cnt do that with Mr T, cos he would get upset.

Anyways I still find older guys sexy and am having fun with Mr T...you never know where it would go........

So what do you guys think...can you date an older guy?

Jerk 9: Mr B

                

 Hi guys, its bin awhile I have posted on the Jerk series...so this is a reader's story about one of the jerks she has had in her life.

                                          THE BEGINNING 

I do have a Mr. A but that’s a story for another day. So I met Mr. B after Mr. A recklessly broke my heart and was begging to come back. I was in a very vulnerable position and I was having a perfect hatred for the male specie. Mr. B was older than me reasonably so I took him to be responsible.

One night in my sad moment of heart break; I put up a BBM status that got Mr. B’s attention. I was really sad and needed someone to talk to so I told him about Mr. A and ironically he made me feel better. Still I saw Mr. B as nothing other than an older friend. But then he began to chat with me every night on BBM, my single ladies please what do you expect a sister to think?

He was acting in suggestive ways. So, to save myself from hanging on a scale; and taking Pastor Bimbo Odukoya’s advice (May her blessed soul Rest in Peace). I asked him categorically “Mr. B what are we doing?” “And then he asked what do you want? Do you want more? Obviously I liked him but I refused to budge. After a while I said yes that I liked him. All this while, it was still BBM parole oo.

He said he liked me too and he wanted us. And he said and I quote ‘we are friends but we can be more” That was obviously raising my hopes. We began to talk a lot, We even ended our discussions with ‘I love you’ and how we would kiss when we finally met. I was in heaven my lady. I felt good that he was an adult and would be better than Mr. A. We even had fights like we were a couple.

He told me about his past relationship and the babe left him. He also told me that all his friends who are females, he usually had a fight with them because they always wanted more but I was different. I should have taken a cue I know, but he told me I was different. Finally we met and talked and still continued our BBM relationship, till I traveled out of the country.

Then again to make sure I wasn’t dulling myself I asked once again ‘what are we doing?’ He said we are friends but we can be more. He said he wanted to be sure I was over my ex so he didn’t bear the troubles of another man. After about 7 months of this roller coaster, I asked this dude that I am tired of all these rubbish and we should categorize what we were doing.

Then he began to say rubbish that we were only friends and we couldn’t date. That’s how my head scattered. I asked him, why were you leading me on all the while? Why would you tell a girl you could be more and so many things when u were never going to move on with her. I was really angry and once again disappointed. I trusted a man again.

Then this wonderful man told me to be glad that what we are fighting about is why he was leading me on. He told me that if he was like other guys, what we would be talking about now that I am out of the country is how good the sex was. He said because he would have taken advantage of me and slept with me and moved on to the next girl once I traveled.

As a result, I was supposed to thank him, really in all my life, I have never felt so insulted.... never ever. Although he apologized days later and said he didn’t mean it that way, I see no other way he would have meant it. The one thing I have inferred from it all is that he was using me for emotional fulfillment. He wasn’t going to be in a relationship but he wanted to keep acting that way. I am sure he has moved on to the next lady though (and I hope it’s not one of you readers.). 

The shocker is that I still talk to him once in a while, I still talk to Mr. A too because I am usually bored in this country. Mr. A still begs to come back but the only chance he has is the chance of snowballs in hell or if an Angel speaks to me. However ladies, I still believe in love. I know there is a man out there who has some sense; I shall just wait on God this time. 

  

I am a single lady and this is my motto now: DANCE! YES! LOVE NEXT!

                                               
                                                        THE END 

 This is just a typical case of leading on...its not just right. So what do you guys think?