What is Love?

 Hello my darlings!!! Welcome to another Wednesday and another post. So today am bringing out the big guns, am talking about love. Yeah it's a diary about my single life but I got asked a question by a friend and I thought I should discuss it on the blog.

So I was talking to my friends over the weekend and one of them asked the question, what is love to you? I know love is defined by people as an indescribable feeling you have for someone blah blah, but what happens when the feeling starts to dim or starts to become describable...what would keep that feeling of love ablaze?

As I was pondering on the question, I finally got an answer and love to me is trust and respect, I think those are the two things that would keep me going in a relationship even when the butterflies don't flutter as much. Trust is very important to me and I think it's the stronghold of a relationship, a man would show me that he loves me by trusting me and in me, and also vice versa. A guy that is in love with me should know that I would not let him down and I have his back, he can let his fears, vulnerabilities and insecurities show when he's with me because he trusts me enough to see that and be that way with me. 

Also when am in love with someone, I give them 100% of everything because I trust them enough to know they won't mess around, cheat or break my heart. Trust is so important to me that I don't know if I can ever stay in a relationship if the trust is broken, I know friends that have been cheated on and stayed, and their relationship has come out stronger..so kudos to that commitment,  because it can't be easy.

Love to me is also respect, knowing that I respect someone enough to let them have their dreams, gals, ambitions, opinions and views on life issues without having them feel like they have to compromise because of me. Also someone that loves me should respect me enough not to cheat or make me look like a fool, because boys nowadays can make a girl look crazy. Respect the boundaries we create and know when to let go and when to hold me down..that sounds like a song lyrics lool

What irks me about boys that cheat apart from the fact that they think it's impossible to not cheat which we all know is bullshit, because God didn't create you with a cheating gene, is the lack of disrespect they have for their girlfriends. If you know you want to have side chicks and your girlfriend decides to stay with you despite that, then at least show her some respect by keeping the side chics in line and respecting the girlfriend's boundaries..don't ever make her look like a fool.

Love means different things to people and it's expressed differently. My friends had different answers, someone said love is passion and commitment, while another said love is pain and decision, which i loved because the pain part is soo true. And there's no right or wrong answer, it's how love is seen and defined by people.

So to you my blog fam, in two words describe what love means to you.  Can't wait to read your views in the comment section. Hp you have a great week, be blessed and remain safe xoxo.

Goodbye Mr K

 Hi Blogfam, am sad today. I broke up with a friend yesterday, yeah you read that right, yes a friend not boyfriend

I met Mr K through a mutual friend when I needed help with my school project, and we hit it off instantly. We were always on the phone, talking and laughing, I actually never thought about a relationship with Mr K, but as time went on, I developed a crush on him. Then one night we were talking as per usual and I mistakenly told him I had a crush but I told him I didn't want to talk about it.

Later this year when we were talking, I reminded him about that conversation and he says oh yeah it was easy for him not to talk about it because he didn't want make it any awkward because he doesn't like me that way and already knew immediately he met me. I was beyond shocked and sad but I played it off and told him the crush was already gone sef, but I knew I still really liked him. After this conversation, I started working on moving away from him, thankfully the project we were working on ended and we didn't have to talk as much.

Recently I moved away from my school and friends and I got back into the routine of talking to him, then we started working on a new project and the time spent on the phone started becoming longer and as much as I tried to get my head and heart on the same page, it was not working, I was getting more attracted to him.

So yesterday I decided to make a decision and take the high road, I decided to break up our friendship. Since I can't cut him off from my life because we work together, I told him to stop thinking of me as friend and just as a client, so that means no unnecessary phone calls, no calling to check on me and business at all times. As I was having this conversation with him, a tiny actually a large part of me kept hoping he would declare his love but sadly that didn't happen. That confirmed to me I made the right decision, I know it sounds petty and childish and probably is, but it's the only way I know how to protect myself and I need to.

We have not yet tested out our new working relationship since we had the conversation and it might not work, hopefully it does but I had to do something for my sanity. I really would have cut him out of my life if not for the project and that he's best at what he does. Fingers crossed we would be able to salvage the friendship later in life but as of right now the friendship is dead. Goodbye Mr K

Needed to rant... Thanks for reading lool. Be safe xoxo

The Exes

 Hey blogfam, am back!!!..I thank God the writer's block is over, I missed writing. So let's get into it, so much juicy stuff to tell you guys.

So I don't know what's going on with the water in Nigeria but someone needs to fix it, because at least two of my exes popped back into my life and that same week, my friend also told me about her ex getting in touch with her. Can you see what I mean about the water?

One of my exes that popped up is actually not really an ex but a former serious fling, let's call him Mr B. I met Mr B immediately after school, he was older than me, like ten years older than me, it was actually through him I realized I fancied older men. I really liked him and wanted a relationship with him but he kept taking me for granted and treated me anyhow.

After I moved away for Nysc, I was able to move on from him and I cut him out of life until last week when I got a text from Mr B, I was so surprised and then the surprise turned to shock when he said he has realized am the one he wants to marry...wawu..ehen is that how they marry, after almost three years of no communication, can you see some people need their brains checked. I told him to go and pray so that God can reveal his actual wife..it ain't me nigga. 

Then the second ex is the one I just broke up with recently, after almost two months of not talking, I see missed calls from him, like why is he calling me, I don't understand. I know I always tell people it's possible to be friends with your exes, yeah but that development happens maybe a year after your break up, not immediately after. Let me clarify when I say I become friends with my exes, it actually means am on friendly terms with them, so I can see them outside and be able to say hi without wanting to bitch slap or kick them in the balls. But I don't let it get to the point that we would be chilling together, talking on the phone or pinging, nah mehn it's not that deep.

My friend was actually contemplating getting back with her ex, and am all for second chances, but I had to remind her he's an ex for a reason. It's easy to start romanticizing the past and all the time you spent together and forget the bad times but exes are in the past and should stay there if they need to. At the same time I told her what I tell people, if you really feel this can work the second time and you can forgive and forget the past, then go for it baby boys and girls lool. You are the only that can determine who and what you want in life.

This is where I stop today. Hope you enjoyed reading. Have a blessed week and stay safe xoxo

Friend Zoned

 Hi blogfam, hp y'all having a great week, I want to apologize for my absence from the blog, this past month was a busy one for me, but am back and its Wednesday, time for another guest blogger but I would start writing myself from next week.

Today we have a good friend of mine and also an ardent reader of the blog, she would be sharing a recent encounter. Hope you enjoy it. Have a great Wednesday.




                                                    FRIEND ZONED
 Have you ever met a dude that turned out to be everything you wanted in a man. By everything I mean he has good physique, he is fine. He just has the perfect qualities and when you thought everything was going fine, he friend zoned you and you were not given a memo you would be friend zoned. He just friend zoned you in his head.

I met this guy. Let's call him Mr Z. Mr Z is a fine, tall, fair guy I met in church. Been scoping him for a while though(yeah I know what you are thinking..scoping a dude in the house of God)but trust me everybody is guilty of my offense. So luckily for me one Sunday my family members decided not to go to church so I took public transportation to church.

After service Mr Z picked me from church and dropped me at a nearest bus-stop. You can't imagine how excited I was. But we didn't exchange numbers and I didn't see him again till he sent me a message on twitter. When I saw the message from him I practically rolled on the floor. Excitement ran through my veins. Apparently he felt the same way for me.

Went out on a couple of dates,he told me he liked me,I reciprocated the feeling, we had our first kiss and I was so sure he was the one for me. Everything fell in place. You know that feeling when you meet the perfect man. We called ourselves everyday and night and couldn't wait to see each other.
Then suddenly he became very distant. He wasn't the Mr Z I knew. He stopped calling. He practically stopped checking on me.

I thought I didn't something wrong to him because I was shocked that someone that sweet would just change for no cause. Well my ego came into the matter also and I didn't bother to ask what I did to warrant such distance. I was already falling for him. So one day I took the courage to call him. I wanted to ask him what I did wrong. As soon as he picked the call I was mute so I just told him I called to check on him and he ended the call.

I didn't want to believe I had being friend zoned. I just thought he had had a very bad week and that one day we would be fine again. Well that happened in my dreams. I have this friend, we will call her Miss T. I told her about Mr Z and I and she assured me to calm down this friend, we will call her Miss T. I told her about Mr Z and I and she assured me to calm down and that maybe he has been having bad days and that she wouldn't mind calling him to ask what went wrong.

The funny thing that Miss T called Mr Z and to my greatest surprise he told her that we were better off friends. I got friend zoned without knowing. It would have made sense if he had given me the heads up that he didn't think we would ever work. So I'm like why did we get so close, why didn't I just read the handwriting on the wall because I am so sure I saw signs since he stopped calling and keeping in touch and most importantly why didn't he have the guts to friend zone me that a third party had to get involved.

Mr Z and I are still friends though. In a way I'm glad we never dated. I guess at the end he was right. We better off as friends.

The Very Single Guy

Hey blogfam, am soooooo sorry I have not updated in awhile, have been suffering from writer's block. So due to that literary emergency, we are going to be having guest bloggers for a few weeks and you guys can become one too. If you have a story or an issue you would like to talk about, just send the piece to my email adejumokesijuwade@gmail.com and I would put it on the blog.

So for this Wednesday, the blog is being taken over by a male friend of mine, I hope you enjoy the post.

                                                    

                                           THE VERY SINGLE GUY

We live in a world where most guys (like me) are single, while most of the ladies  are in a relationship. Then you begin to wonder who the ladies are actually dating when the guys seem to be single. Perhaps guys remain single because they want to mingle, whereas the ladies don't want to be pestered. If you have a doubt about that you could kindly go to some of your friends' profile on Facebook and see things for yourself.

Anyway, I am technically 'very single' not because I've chosen to be but because fate has made it so. Now you might be asking why I blame fate instead of myself. Relax and see where I am coming from. As a boy I grew up in the midst of girls, as in, beautiful girls; my male friends were wondering how they (the girls) found it very comfortable playing with me. To the extent that some guys may want me to hook them up with a girl.

On my part any of the female friends I try to be intimate with, will either be antagonised by the other girls or she may only want me as a friend (friend zoning things) or to see me as a brother (welcome to the brotherhood)! It baffled & still baffles me a lot that I have to ask why it happens that way. Imagine the kind of explanation I once got:
 "You are very nice and interesting, I don't find it difficult to discuss anything with you. It would be fun to be in a relationship with you but I don't want to lose you."

When I  tried to convince a babe on how I adored & cherished her, that we wouldn't lose each other, then I got a cracker:
"While in a relationship a boyfriend & a girlfriend may likely quarrel (which is normal) and may break up (that's if they failed to reconcile) and then become arch-enemies but it's hardly like that with friends."

To crown it all, I went to the Seminary and got to adulthood as one who wants to become a Rev. Father. I guess you now know what influence such formation will have in one's life .Now that I am no longer going to be a priest, I have to relate with a lady in a 'new world' & in a different way.

I had been in a relationship with a beautiful damsel but it's a pity we got separated by distance and time. I believe it's because I had always been on the road, I only got to see her during the holidays. I set her free & now she's happily married with a lovely kid and yet we are still friends.

Ladies like to be chased, I certainly don't have any problem with that because it seems to be the norm. When a lady is forming hard to get maybe because she wants to test the guy & know if he's real; but be careful so you don't treat him like a fool. There is a huge difference between being careful & being silly. You are careful when you don't give up your guard so easily.

You tend to be silly when you like a guy & yet you let him go through dehumanising ordeals just because you think by doing so you are affirming the maxim: 'Nothing good comes easy'. As you are good as a lady, so he too is good as a guy. But remember, not every guy or lady is the same, who is good is based on your choice or taste.

Unattractive

Hey blogfam, so I have been keeping a secret from you guys for the past two weeks, I finally got a boyfriend, don't get too excited yet cos I was so excited too, was already thinking about blog name change also getting to share the good news with you guys but alas it was not meant to be. The boy let's call him Mr D and I broke up few days ago, I swear am not the one with the issues lool...so back to my single status *sighs*

I was thinking about the break up and the things guys do that just make them so unattractive like Mr D and I had just been dating for two seconds when he asked me to lend him N100k because he broke someone's Iphone, the first thought that came to my mind was when you know you don't have money for Iphone, why are you holding it. I told him I didn't have the money because honestly I didn't but I was so surprised he was asking me for that amount of money when we had practically just started dating. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping my boyfriend but this was the second time he was asking for money and such things make my guard go up. The same boys hate girls asking them for money is the same way a boy asking for money all the time is unattractive, we don't mind helping but not everyday asking.

The second thing is when guys are pessimistic, this is a pet peeve of mine. My friend introduced me to this guy, let's call him Mr O, well spoken, funny and articulate but when ever we had a conversation, I felt drained cos the guy was so negative about everything. All he would talk about is how he doesn't think he can make it in life, how he thought his height was a curse because he is too tall, how he never has money. Just imagine a conversation with that kind of person, I didn't understand how a thirty year old man could be so pessimistic and negative about life, and that attitude was just so unattractive, it turned me off completely. When I couldn't take it anymore, I gave him a lecture about how negative he was and deleted him off my bbm, lord knows I don't need any more negativity in my life.

The last thing I find very unattractive in guys is the ones that whine and throw themselves a pity party, especially when they think you have 'connections to help them and so all they do is talk about how there's no job, how life is hard or that all they do is sit at home, if only they knew me too am looking for the 'connections' too. Like you are a man and God has made you the provider and head of your family, you won't be able to fulfil that position if all you do is have a pity party every time life knocks you down, pull up your bootstraps and hustle till you make it.  No girl wants to date a whiner or someone who is not ambitious or ready to hustle. Whining especially when guys do it is just sooooo unattractive. 

So these are a few things that I find so unattractive. What do you find unattractive in a boy or girl?

Broken

Lord knows it took me a while to get inspired to write a post for this week, as I was contemplating shutting down the blog, but I met someone who said she loves my blog and a late night conversation with a friend sparked my inspiration for this post.

My male friend believes girls want a broken guy, someone that is malleable and compliant, that can  be turned, twisted and changed till he suits the girl, but I disagree with him, I don't think any girl wants a guy that she has to change or teach the right things to do in a relationship. Being in a relationship is already stressful enough that I don't think any girl wants a boy that can't take charge.

For example, I was dating this guy that never called or put my picture on bbm, yes I like things like that, don't judge lool. I started talking about putting my picture up because he always had his ex-girlfriend's picture up all the time, so I knew it was not like I was trying to change him because it was something he always did before we started dating.

Speaking further with my friend, I understood what he was saying about a girl wanting to change a boy , it's probably in every female's nature, we are nurturing and mothering and my friend agreed boys don't necessarily push themselves. So a girl can make some changes to a boy's life to push him to his dreams or make life easier for him. Like when I was with Mr S, he was such a serious person, didn't like to do fun things if he thought something would make him look silly, he won't do it but I coaxed him into trying some new things while we were together, am sure people will see this as trying to change him. I probably was but evidently it was all done to make him have a happier life.

I agree girls might like to change boys but I don't agree girls want a broken guy naaa...maybe some girls whom I have never met or heard of. As much as nobody can be perfect, a girl still wants her own Mr Right and Perfect, at least you start dating someone because they have the qualities you want, so why change that? When in a relationship, everyone should and want to retain their individuality because that's what makes the relationship fun but your individualities should be compatible enough to become unified.

My friend also owns a blog, you can check it out at http://the18thbook.wordpress.com/

So what do you think? Do you think we girls want a broken man so we cn change him completely?

Kissing Frogs

 I really can't wait for my prince to arrive, am tired of kissing frogs lool. I need him to ride in on his chariot and save me from this dating world because the boys I am meeting lately ehn, I don't know if it's me or it's them..i think it's them tho.

My friends keep introducing me to boys that I don't even understand where they got them from, am calling all my friends out on this blog, leave me alone, Biko don't introduce to boys again..I don't want. Imagine my friend introducing me to a boy that spells 'stew' as 'steal', 'kind' as 'can' and it goes on and on..imagine. I could not stop thinking about my life when my friend introduced me to the boy, is that she thought oh Jumoke can't speak English too, so let's join them together. So friends especially the bestie cool it with the set-ups, still love you tho.

It's getting harder to not settle, you know, meet someone and just manage to like them and then start dating, but not me though, since I felt what it was like to be in love, I can't settle and be confined to a lifetime of unhappiness.

Recently, a guy who I had liked for awhile, even before Mr S sef, and he finally asked me out, which I had wanted for awhile, but I could not say yes, because I knew I would be settling. Like he had messed up a year before when I first met and he was always talking about how much he loved me eventhough he had a girlfriend that I didnt know about, but  even though he has broken up with the girl. I still don't trust him and going into a relationship with trust issues would not end well.

I just want someone that loves, support and cherishes me, and also honest, why is it so hard to find? Where is the Prince for Princess Jumoke? lool A male friend even scared me the other day when he said there are no more honest guys, is that true boys that honest men are no more in existence?

Anyways you dont even have to answer, I know my prince is on the way..gosh the 'prince' word is so cringey tho, am not one for all those romantic ish but I had to use it so that you would understand my predicament.

That's all for today. See you next wednesday, and get prepared for the gist I have next week. Xoxo

No New Friends

As Drake said, no new friends...the Jumoke's friendship has sailed and left the port..lool. Am sure you guys think am crazy, let me expatiate...learning my big words people lool

So my friend introduced me to this new guy like two weeks ago, and I just knew right off the bat, he is not 'the one' firstly he sounded like a 40 year old Yoruba man and he can't speak English..hmm he's definitely not the one. After some few polite conversations, I told him I was not interested, he said he would still like to be friend, nah I don't think so and I deleted him off bbm. He got upset and reported me to our mutual friend and said he just wanted to be my friend, see me see wahala, is it by force to be friends...no new friends.

I think I should say no new guy friends, I am not interested in having any new guy friends in my life at this moment, especially the ones that like you but you know nothing is ever going to happen, if I keep having those type of guy friends, they would just clog your life and there would be no space for the one to see you talk less of entering. 

Even if am going to put guys in the friend zone, it should be a silent but mutual agreement, like we both know we don't like each other and nothing is ever going to happen and so we have both zoned ourselves. I don't want someone to be in my friend zone and me in their maybe zone..nah..let both of us keep it moving if we can't have a mutual agreement. The friendship quota for new guy friends this year has even been used up already sef...I have only two slots for every other year lool, with the way am talking, you would think I have guys begging to be my friend.

There's no problem with making friends, I always say don't go around meeting new people thinking that's your next bf/gf or the next love of your life. You meet someone you like, build a friendship first and if it's going somewhere, good on you but if you know you are not feeling it but you still want to remain friends, that's good but make sure both of you get the memo that you have zoned each other, not one person still hoping and you leading them on.

I don't know if what I did to the guy was harsh, but it was better in the long run, even if he didn't want to date me again, I knew we could not be friends so why bother hanging on..let's keep it pushing.

So that's my rant for this Wednesday, thanks for reading. See you next Wednesday xoxo

So Different

 Boys and girls are just different, am sure everyone is going 'duh' I know it's the most obvious thing ever but it is still fascinating to see how each gender views relationship so differently, like their wires don't cross. Men are really from Mars and women from Venus. Let me explain what is bringing about all these thoughts

A good friend of mine came to visit me last week, we are pretty close , so he was telling me about his love life and how he had like four girls he was talking to and all of them thinks he likes them and he does, at the same time he was telling me about a girl he met the day before and they got talking but it was nothing, only for my nigga to call the girl in the evening and then start dropping lines like and I quote 'if you look at yourself in the mirror, you would know why I am talking to you' huh I was beyond shocked and you could hear the girl giggling and sounding so excited..if only she knew.

So I asked my friend after the phone call why he is leading the girl on like that, when he has four other girls that believe he likes them and he could not explain it. He didn't realize when he started dropping the lines, he met a fine girl and he had to. And that got me thinking about how different boys and girls think in relationships, like every boy I meet is always talking and tracking more than one girl which I don't understand, while girls when they meet a boy they like, most times that's the end, they are sticking to that one guy.

I don't understand why boys can't just meet a girl they like and stick to that one, try and build something, but no oo, they keep looking for better options, it's like they believe the grass is always greener okay if that's what you think. The truth is that there would always be a girl or boy finer, richer, more put together than your bf/gf, what you should be searching for is the person that makes you happy and loves you.which is getting harder to find in this 21st century, so if you meet that kind of person, you better realize how blessed you are and stick with that person.

But I guess boys would always be boys, and girls would always be girls, the pattern of thinking in a relationship would always be different. 

Hope you enjoyed reading the post. Have a grt week guys and see you next Wednesday

Don't Be Nice

Sometimes you just have to be an arse, rain on people's parades..yh I know it sounds mean but sometimes being mean to people is how you get them to become better in life.

I had this friend who was in a long term relationship, she had been dating the boy for four years, when she started to realize that the relationship was not just working, she and the boy had drifted apart and had become two different people over the years, but she was too scared to break it off because she didn't want to be seen as a bad person, until last year the boy proposed out of the blue, she said yes because it was in a public setting but the next day, she sat the boy down and explained how she felt and that she wanted a break up. The boy obviously got upset and people thought she was evil, but she had to be an arse because she knew being married to that boy will just cause sadness and pain for both of them and the marriage might end in divorce...so would you say she should still have gotten married because she didn't want to be seen as a bad person, if she had remained in that relationship, that would just have been pure selfishness.

Or like this guy my friend introduced me to recently, he told my friend he liked me and so he decided to match make us, immediately I started talking to the guy, I knew nothing could happen between us and I had to tell him, that nothing could happen between us, and we can't be friends either because lord knows I really don't need any new friends in my life especially boys, and I deleted him off my bbm, that might sound harsh but the fact is the boy liked me and would probably not have settled for us just being friends...so why not be the 'bad guy' now and let the boy jejeley move on..abi

Another friend who was battling weight issues, she was overweight and it was beginning to affect her health, and she was in a relationship with a really skinny guy, who never cautioned her or help her with her weight issues...he even used to over feed her sometimes and make her eat junk, until he left her for a skinner person. She met another guy and started dating him, this guy decided to help her become fit, he would even go as far as threatening to break up with her if he felt she was relapsing, he was not going to but he knew that being an arse like that would save his girlfriend's life. 

I hate when I see guys lead girls on and vice versa, and then say oh I don't know how to tell the person I don't like them, so you think the person prefers you leading them on when you know it's not going anywhere...let me tell you, ending things with people and letting them know your true feelings is always appreciated, nobody wants to be lied too and if anyone takes the news badly and thinks you are arse..then oh well if being nice and honest is what makes you an arse..then I guess you are. 

Disillusioned

Hi guys, happy Wednesday..welcome to the blog of life

So at the beginning of the week, a male friend of mine in Nigeria called me up and said he wanted to surprise his girlfriend that lives in UK by getting her a gift on her birthday, and he wanted me to plan it because i had organized the valentine's day surprise he had for her. When i was telling my friends about it and how excited i was about planning the surprise, they thought i was crazy, because of the stress, the girl lives in a different city from me and i had very little time to get the gifts, but i just really didn't care about how stressful it was going to be. I was excited because doing things like this helps me emotionally...let me explain a bit

So since Mr S and I parted ways, i have just not being feeling great emotionally. Then a guy and i started talking late last year, but it was not that serious but i was starting to like him and all of a sudden, I find out he actually had a girlfriend.. and if u hear how serious this boy sounded when ever he was talking about 'us' , i could not believe when i found out he had a girlfriend...and after that I started feeling downcast and was just thinking if I would ever find 'the one' and be loved and happy.

In this 21st century, dating had just become harder and you are never sure of people's intentions and if they are true and if they really want to be with you. Its so easy to become disillusioned about love and just give up, but i have decided to keep the spirit and hope alive which is very hard, so doing little projects like surprising the girl on her birthday courtesy of her boyfriend makes me happy, because i get to live through them...its nice to see two people care about each other deeply and do nice and thoughtful things to make each other happy.

So as not to turn into a dejected individual and a man-hater, i try to find things that make me happy and reignite my belief in love, so when i am not planning surprise pop-ups , i decided to get a new hobby, i watch proposal and wedding videos on YouTube...i know it sounds sad and weird but its just nice to see that people still do fall in love and people still find that one person that makes them happy...and it makes not give up on love..i know very soon i will find the one.

I know this post is a bit sappy and emotional, but i live alone and am tired of talking to myself..so i decided to share it with my blogfam. So to all the single people like me, hoping to find love soon..don't give up, its on the way and don't get downcast when relationships or people fail...just know its preparing you for a better future.

Also please check out this wonderful blog www.victorypath.wordpress.com #amazing articles

 Hope y'all have a great week..see you next Wednesday. xoxo

Materialistic or Not

'I can't date him, he doesn't have a car'...she said to me...

Am sure you guys are wondering what that was all about..well twitter started it...let's back track a bit. It all started with a convo I had with a friend...which is the inspiration for this post. I don't know if you guys heard about the boy that proposed to his girlfriend on twitter...blah blah..cute story and all, so my friend and I were talking about it and I was telling how cute it was that the girl was with the boy when he had nothing and would jump bikes and buses with him....my friend just said what's cute about jumping buses...I was like I don't mind taking the bus with my boyfriend...but my friend said she can never take a bus or bike with a boy because she can't date a boy that doesn't have a car.

.

My first thought after that sentence was she's so materialistic..but we started talking about what being materialistic meant, my friend didn't care if people judged her as materialistic because of some of her opinions on dating. Like my friend can't date a boy shorter or the same height as her, she can't stand boys that can't speak or dress well and she can't be with a boy that doesn't have a car. Okay so all her cants sound very superficial..yes!!!..she knows she is superficial and doesn't mind.

After the convo ended, I was still thinking about what we said...and what kept going through my head was how materialistic her views are but I had to stop myself and ask what really is the yardstick for judging how materialistic someone is...cos girls love to judge esp with the 'Aye' song by Davido which is the song of the moment.. but who doesn't love the finer things in life...I know I want a husband that can afford to get a Ferrari, it doesn't have to be right now but does that make me materialistic. I really don't think my friend is materialistic at all..she just knows what she wants and doesn't want....yes our views are very different...I don't mind dating 'the promising future guy' while she would only date the one that his promised future has arrived and is shining brightly...

Also, I really don't have an issue with my friend...not with how much care she expends on her body...always working on being the best girl ever, so why can't she get the best boy ever. I dislike when people judge girls for being materialistic...cos if wanting the finer things in life makes you materialistic then every girl is materialistic in one way or the other...girls don't let's lie to ourselves, we know money makes a boy more attractive...I can feel all the side-eye being given right now..am just saying its attractive when a boy is successful...but its all good, because am sure its a wonderful feeling to be with someone you love and build up a great future from the scratch together.

Before I go, I have to give a shout-out to an awesome person, Mr K, he helped create the event planning mobile app for my school project and I just want to say thank you...he is also a reader of the blog....thank you!!!!!!!.

See you guys next Wednesday #stayblessed xoxo

Love or Lust At First Sight

                                        

So am on the train which is practically my new house...am always going somewhere, and I was thinking about something a friend told me, which is also the same question I have been wrestling with for a while. Is there anything really like Love at First Sight.

Okay so I met this guy...let's call him Mr O, we met through a friend some weeks back and started talking...it was nothing at first..just harmless convos and then later it started getting a bit deep but I was really not in the mood for anything serious and then he just said something..I am falling in love with you...huh....wait is that how you fall in love with someone?

 I also just met another guy, who I really like but am so scared to go further because all he talks about is how he is in love with me and blah, blah...like we have barely spent any time together.. so how did he fall in love with someone that he barely knows...

And then few weeks later...my friend told me about this guy that she met and few days later..the boy said he was in love with her. Wait am not getting all this microwave love ish...is that how people fall in love now...well it's the digital age innit. 

The thing is I can be very cynical, maybe its due to my recent and first heartbreak or that am not just someone who believes in the love at first sight, but I just believe when people talk about love at first sight..they actually mean lust at first sight, you meet someone but what probably attracts you to the person is their physical qualities...so that's probably what you 'love'. Its fine to be in 'lust' at least that can progress to 'love'

But what do I know, maybe people do actually fall in love at first sight...there are always exceptions to every rule they say ...still don't believe in it though. 

So what do you guys think...do you believe in love at first sight?

Well that's the post for the week..hp you enjoyed it and have a blessed day

A Year Older

Hello blogfam...so my birthday was yesterday and it was fun...had a great time. So this post might be a bit short because am so tired and a bit hungover I think...am not even sure sef but I had to get myself out of bed and write a post cos I can't let you guys down

So yesterday I was a year older and it got me thinking because this time last year, I was with Mr S and spent my birthday with him and I have decided to tell you guys about the relationship lessons I learnt from being with Mr S because, even though I was hurt, my time with him has made me become a better person..

No preconceived notions..like don't go around thinking every boy you meet is the one..just meet people and build friendships, get to know them first as friends, before anything else...and this brings me to my second lesson..

Never assume...this was one of the best lessons I learnt, don't think you know what the other person is thinking or what they are feeling...let them spell it out for you. When you meet someone and you like the person and you think they like you back, ask them....let them define the relationship...if you know the person doesn't like you but is like kissing you, calling you like ten times...he/she is just leading you on...you will get hurt. Cut off all that and tell the person to keep moving.....

Thirdly, when it comes to relationships or forging new friendships, keep your expectations to the barest minimum, this is the greatest lesson ever...having the high expectations about someone who just likes you and is not even a boyfriend or girlfriend yet is just putting stress on you and the person's relationship. Keeping your expectations to the barest minimum helps you not to fget disappointed...

Lastly and most importantly, live your life....Never let a boy dictate your happiness, moods, interests...don't live your life for a boy, because you will end up regretting it..Even if you are in a relationship..it's great to have shared interests...but also have separate hobbies/interests....do things for yourself outside the relationship....Like I really wanted to do an Europe tour last year but because Mr S wasn't interested, I cancelled it and now I don't have the chance anymore. So people live your lives..be happy, thankful and grateful for life....YOLO baby!!!!

So that's all people...Jumoke's words of wisdom...loool. So hope you guys liked the post and learnt something....have a blessed and great day. 

Free Pass

 Hi guys....happy Wednesday ppl...time to get to business

Recently, I was having a chat with a very inspiring friend of mine and we were talking about cheating..I know I have spoken about it before on the blog..new readers can check that post out HERE but this post is in a new dimension...and we raised two questions which are why do boys get a free pass when it comes to cheating? Why do boys that cheat on their girlfriends consistently have a problem when she steps out too?. Well here are my thoughts on those questions.

Firstly, I think boys get free passes when it comes to cheating cos girls allow it, boys will keep cheating on a girl when he knows she is not going anywhere....before I used to think maybe it was the Nigerian culture but apparently it's everywhere....am not saying if your boyfriend cheats on you once and apologizes, that you should not forgive him, if you think you can work through it with him, then good luck to you guys... But if he consistently cheats on you and starts to flaunt it sef...no more under G stuff and you still stick with him, why won't the boy think he has a free pass. 

Secondly, I have no answer to the second question...I think it has something to do with their egos but what do I know.. maybe my male readers can help answer the question....like a close friend of mine was in a situation recently, her boyfriend kept cheating on her but she really liked the boy, so she didn't leave him but recently she became close to a co-worker and all they were doing was just talking, it was obvious the co-worker liked her but she still kept it platonic...then her boyfriend found out cos he goes thru her phone regularly...cn u imagine...then all hell broke loose...started screaming at the girl, called the co-worker and threatened him...the boyfriend almost had heart attack cos the girl was chatting to another boy, but he has like 5 side-chicks ooo...

When I was telling my male friend the story, his room mate said something that has made me lose hope in this male generation...he said men are not meant to be with just one person but girls are made for just one person...this is coming from a British trained Masters degree holder ooo...please help me find the sense in what he said. I was even thinking this was particular to the Nigerian society until the Fitz and Mellie situation in last week's scandal...let all my fellow scandal lovers say 'yeah'....see how Fitz that has been cheating on Mellie for at least four years went crazy cos she had a fling.....so I guess its not only Nigerian men that are wired like that.

So my male readers, why do men get upset when a girl cheats on you once...even though you have cheated on her countless times...we await your answers in the comment section.... And ladies if you also have an opinion on these questions..please feel free to chime in...

Thanks for reading...hp you have a grt day 

Shallow

 Happy new month blog fam.. hp you are all having a great week...well me am just working on my project...cnt wait to be done.

I used to think I was the least shallow person on earth...like I know I can be a bit judgemental but shallow...nah...or at least thts what I thought until two weeks ago..

I went for a house party and I really dressed up...was not really interested in meeting guys...I just wanted to dance...am probabli the most uncoordinated person ever but I still like dancing with my two left feet..so the party started and there were some cool guys around...wen the dancing started...I decided to hang back and see if any boy would approach me..yh I knw I said I went there for the dancing and not the guys..tht doesn't mean I shd not position myself where the 'one' can easily find me. Few minutes later, a cute, tall boy came to meet me and was talking to me till his friend called to come and get him from downstairs...so he excused himself and said he would be back. So I quickly went to pour myself a drink and as I was about to return to my position...someone tapped me and said hi, as I turned..there was hmmm..how do I say this without sounding mean..hmm there was a rather large guy blocking my way...so I said hi back and said excuse me, but he didn't move and said I really like your dress...I said thanks and as he was about to continue, I spotted the tall, dark guy..he was back and he smiled at me...so I rudely said I had to go and brushed past the guy. 

Mr tall-dark and I started dancing, and he was all grabby and very touchy...so I tried to push him bk and then before I knew it..he dragged me closer and was getting really scary....before I could say stop...I felt the guy being lifted from me...who was my knight in shining amour...the rather large guy...he kept asking if I was okay and if I wanted him to beat the guy...so sweet...but I told him I was fine. After the whole ish, I didn't feel like dancing again...so Mr rather large guy and I just sat in a corner and started gisting...it was amazing to find out how much we had in common and how cool he was.

After the party, I started thinking about how I always had problems with boys tht didn't find me attractive cos of my weight or because I didn't hv a flat tummy....nd it dawned on me tht I am no different from them...if I call them shallow...then I am also as shallow as them....cos I ignored a really nice guy cos he was not skinny..like hw crazy is tht.

I understand everyone has specs but don't let the specs become a bondage and then make you miss out on an amazing individual....and I think people should realize that everybody is a bit shallow in one way or the other...am happy Mr rather large guy was still persistent even though I was rude cos he is one of the nicest people I have ever met.. and the funniest thing is that he was not even interested in me...he has a gf...he just came to meet me cos I looked lonely...imagine..lool and me I was forming brush off....

You don't have to be upset if you don't find someone attractive cos of their physical appearance...just dnt flip out when the same thing happens to you...think before you judge them as shallow.....

So thts my post for this week...hv a grt week guys and wishing u a blessed month...

The Blind Date/Jerk 10

Hello blogfam...hp u are having a great week so far...Wednesday is fast becoming my fav day...I get to put up a new post and Arrow the tv show is on Wednesday too...Yaay!!!

I so wanted to write about something else cos the blind date is not worth talking abt....but I promised..*rme*.....here it goes...the date that started with a pop and ended with a slap..lool

Okay so a friend of mine told me about her cousin tht lives in Birmingham and she thinks would be awesome for me...cn u remember hw I told u guys tht all my friends have decided it's their mission in life to find the one for me......And since I am pretty much not doing anything and my life can be a bit or really boring..if am being honest. I accepted but I told her not to send pictures of either of us to each other....I have never really been on a blind date..so I wanted it to be proper blind...so none of us have judgement calls or reservations abt appearances

The day of the blind date came and lord knows I just didn't hv the strength to go...I was tired and I almost cancelled but I thought to myself that, thts hw people meet the 'one' on tv or in books...u knw when the person wud be like he/she almost cancelled bt when he/she went, they ended up meeting the one....so I dressed up and dragged myself to the restaurant. When I got there, I had to look for the guy with the weird geek glasses and blue blazer...turned out there were quite a few weird glasses nd blue blazer wearing men at the spot...but finally located the guy tht was waving madly...

The guy was at the bar drinking already..We got a table and started talking...he was cool but a bit tipsy...tht should have been a warning sign.. he was chewing gum and ws making really loud sounds...but I decided to ignore and not find faults until my guy put his hand inside his mouth to twist his gum and make a loud popping sound...I was in shock...ws just staring...u shd have seen how the whole restaurant turned...I just lowered myself into the chair and the guy was giggling...nd this is a 26 year old somebody ooo. Anyways our orders came....and we started eating, and I was almost over the shock of the gum popping when I just saw another fork creeping on my plate to take a piece of my fish...I didn't even knw when I slapped his fork away...loool...

I was still trying to be calm until the waiter came and he asked if we would like some dessert...and he said no, and the waiter turned to me..I was about to say no and the guy just said thts no for both of us...I just looked at him...he was like you know sugar is not good for you and you really should manage your weight....oh wow...I just told the waiter thank you and said I was ready to go home....so I went outside to wait for a cab...only for the guy to come outside and he was like I hp u are not too offended, but you know when I saw you at first...I was like you are a bit chubbier than girls I normally date but I think if we get together...I cn help you blossom....nd I replied that, it's nice to see romance is not dead..dnt knw if it was the sarcastic tone or the statement...the guy just started yelling, see this one...am even trying to help you...I just wanted to sleep with...you are below me....cnt date fat ugly girls like you....didn't knw when I raised my hand...I just heard a sound and saw the guy holding his face...I was still staring at my hand when my cab came....saved by the cab..

So thts the blind date....the boy apologized...sent me an email and also told his cousin to apologize..tht he was drunk....I dnt knw where my friends get all the people they introduce to me sef...like if my friend thinks me and this guy have things in common...wt is she really trying to say..*side-eye*..cos I don't understand.

On the bright side...we got a Jerk story from it...the 10th jerk story in the series.....I definitely won't be going on blind dates or even any dates any time soon...am tired..lool...no more looking for the 'one'...the 'one' should come and find me in the comfort of my home...

Also today is a dedicated reader's bday...Ifeoma Ehiri..wishing u a fab day. Y'all should have a great week...see you nxt week by God's grace...

Dating Fails

Happy Wednesday blogfam...happy blog day

So am laying in my bed sick but I cnt sleep...so I decided to write the post for the week...

Okay so am going on a blind date this week and my friend was asking if I was nervous or shy...and she was surprised my answer was no...I cnt be nervous...not with the dating experiences I have had in this my short history of dating...so I hv decided to share some of them with u guys...so u cn understand..lool

I think my most humiliating experience wen it comes to dating is when my childhood love and I rekindled our 'love'...and then we started dating..kind of sha..then I went ova to his place and we were playing in his room..wen I fell on the bed and broke it...loool..well I was massive then tho...

The second most humiliating experience was with my ex-boyfriend, it was our first date and he took me to a restaurant...I had been feeling gassy all day and I had tried to get out of the date but he thot I wanted to stand him up...so I decided to go and as we were about to order our food...didn't knw when I just started farting repeatedly and very loudly....lool...gosh it was so embarrassing...everyone including me was just trying to act like nothing was happening...cnt believe my ex-boyfriend still went on to date me...bless his heart

The third most humiliating experience was actually with Mr S...we had just started whatever we were doing and then we had a cinema date, but when I saw him, he had a terrible cold..so if suggested that he stayed over in my place so I cud take proper care of him...nd then because my bed was a single bed and with my fat self...I barely fitted on the bed...I told him to take the bed and I would sleep on the floor, even tho bless his heart..he objected bt I was in my trying to move from fling to girlfriend mode..I was like am fine...if u see hw I was shivering in the night bt I was so embarrassed to tell him I wanted to get on the bed..most uncomfortable night Eva..dnt knw who sent me.

So with all these wonderful experiences and many more...how can I be nervous...what else can happen tht has already not happened...probabli break a chair..oh well the joy and awkwardness of being Jumoke. The only thing I am worried about is tht the person might be boring and I might feel sleepy immediately I start talking to him..loool...tht won't be good.

So I will gist you guys abt my blind date nxt week...fingers crossed...it goes well.. Hv a grt week guys

The New Zone

 Hey blogfam...hp you are having a grt week. It's Wednesday...so time for a new post

So we all know the different dating zones...the family zone...thts the brother/sister zone..which is the saddest zone cos there's no getting out of it...at least u cnt date your brother or the one tht the boy u have a crush refers to you as big mama or mummy..loool...u cnt go and date your son..wait I think it's only fat ppl tht enters tht zone...lool

Then the most common zone which is the friend zone...I think ppl scream too much abt this zone..like be calm...you can still get out of this zone..trust me guys...just because a girl thinks of you or calls you a friend doesn't mean she cnt date you, at least she didn't call you her brother. In this friend zone too..there's a new sub zone...the 'I really like you but I don't want to destroy our friendship' zone....yimu

Now getting to the point of this post...there's a new zone in the dating world...thinking abt it nw..it's nt really new...anyways it's a zone I just found myself in...poor Jumoke. The name of the zone is pretty long but stay with me...drumroll ppl....the 'If I didn't have a girlfriend, I would have dated you 'zone...yup thts my current zone..well I dnt plan to stay there for long... emi ti mo ti step out mehn... Like I dnt knw why boys do or say this...like why are you telling me...okay we like each but you have a girlfriend and a perfect relationship....then let's keep it moving...but no they won't let you go and find your destiny...na wa ooo. 

Actually I hv been in this I like you but I have a girlfriend zone twice...first time I really didn't mind cos the boy kept coming up with stories of how horrible his gf was, so I kept thinking he wud break up with her and be with me...but I cme to my senses sharply, when the gf attacked me and the bf supported her..well wt did I expect. So now I think any girl tht finds herself in this zone and still sits there...then enjoy being a side chic for the rest of your life...cos the nigga ain't leaving his gf anytime soon...so start stepping and look for your boo somewhere else.

If you know you can't or won't date someone...then why tell them anything...if u knw u cherish your friendship...then why are u telling the girl u like her..wen u knw u won't end up dating her or since you knw you have a gf...why are u bothering the girl....let her be...

Well thts all I hv for this post...enjoy the rest of your week....

Good Luck Jumoke

It's Wednesday ppl...whoop..time for a new post.

Hv u guys seen the movie Good Luck Chuck...well thts the inspiration for this post...so a quick recap of the movie for the ppl tht hv not seen it...the movie is about a guy tht every girl he dated ended up finding the right person immediately he broke up with them...so the gist is tht he was like a good luck charm

And how does this relate to you Jumoke..u ask...well I think I might be the nxt good luck Jumoke...the good luck charm for guys I date or dated. Like am not joking...every guy tht has dated or had a fling with me has gone straight from me to meeting the right person or at least someone tht was the right person for them then...let me share some examples...dnt worry I dnt mind...sharing is caring..lool

First example is my first boyfriend...the one I thot I was destined to marry...let's call him Mr A...Mr A and I dated for like a year and a half..really liked each other but we cud not cope with the long distance relationship...do you know few months after we broke up...Mr A met like the proper love of his life...at least she was the love of his life for like 5 years...can you see good luck Jumoke at work..they hv broken up nw tho bt lets nt dwell on tht...movin on..lool

Second example...our dearest Mr S has met the one...at least someone he likes...even though he thot he could never love again....this is thanks to the good luck charm he has in his life..which is....let me hear you say it...yh thts right..Me!!!...whoop...gosh I hv issues, but seriously Mr S and I just ended whatever was going on and he already found someone...even tho I still want to and am going to kick him in the groin bt lets nt think abt tht one nw...we are focused on my good luck charm.

So let me advertise myself here...all you boys tht are looking for love but hv nt yet found...you might like to tap into this wonderful good luck of mine....apparently I bring love to all those tht seek it...so try me today and the love of your life might jst cme running into your arms....loool....

Thts all for today....you can also subscribe to the blog by clicking the subscribe button at the end of the page..thanks.. Hv a grt week guys...see you nxt Wednesday #remainblessed. 

The Angry Black Woman

 Hey guys...it's Wednesday people...time for a new post.

So I had a different post planned for this week but something came this weekend and I just had to gist you guys. I don't knw if you have seen the movie 'The Diary of A Mad Black Woman'...well this post is inspired by tht movie....

Let me tell you guys a short story...wen Mr S and I were still fooling ourselves...there was a time I was at his place and his flatmate and his girl friend started arguing about the boy cheating on her and then before we could say jack...the babe had carried the boy's new Mac book and threw it out the window..lool and the apartment was on the 20th floor...so it was a long way down..also the girl ran out of the house and went downstairs to where the laptop was and started smashing the hard drive with her feet..it was a very dramatic day mehn...

While this was going on, I can remember I was gisting my best friend and I was like oh my goodness..me I cnt be like this ooo..girls are crazy mehn and when Mr S disrespected me this weekend just because I was trying to be his friend...and I remembered hw much of a jerk he was...the anger that came over me...I dnt even knw where it came from, my first thought was that I wish Mr S had a car cos I just wanted to buy a bucket of paint and pour it all over the car...then I thought about doing a drive by and throwing a rock through his window...lool 

But since I am in a foreign country and I dnt want to get deported..I have decided to refrain myself and put my anger into a more useful area....and so I have taken up kick boxing and karate...I think my instructor is scared of me sef cos I have so much anger and I just visualize Mr S' face on the punching bag and I just kick the hell out of the bag...lool..cn u ppl feel the anger... Anyways Mr S and I go to the same church..so am trying to learn hw to pull a Jackie chan move..u knw all those subtle moves tht u wud kick someone and u wud hv left before the person even knws wt happened...am going to kick him so hard in the groin...he has to feel the same amount of emotional pain I felt. 

The funniest thing is I never thought I was this kind of person...like get this angry and want to inflict pain on a boy but I think if you fall in love with someone and you do everything for the person...and they misbehave...i think it changes you and makes you a different person...so girls never say never...u can be the next angry black woman....

Ride or Die Chick

Hey guys....hp you are having a great week. So am in the process of re-branding my blog...it's been a year since I started the blog..whoop!!!..and I have decided to create a timeline for putting up a post so at least you guys can be sure there is something new every week...so expect new posts every Wednesday. Also am thinking of making this blog personal..putting up funny videos of me and also having guest writers...anyways still in process...let's get bk to today's post

So it's like in this day and age..the new cool thing is to be a ride or die chick well you cant blame them when they have celebs as role models...Chris brown and his gfs, Annie Idiba and etc....I hp everyone understands what a ride or die chick means...okay let me explain wt I think it means...a ride or die chick is someone who is there for her man..no matter what bullshit he puts her thru....

Okay so I have had personal experiences of me trying to be a ride or die chick...it just sounds so gangasta and sometimes you have to be...so there was this guy..let's just call him Mr H. We really liked each other, so he came to pick me up one time from my house..we were going to OAU campus..I noticed the car was already misbehaving but he was like don't worry...as far as I dnt press the brake...I was like you don't press the brake ke...huh...anyways we get to the campus and at the gate you have to collect a tally...thts hw my guy pressed the brake...the car just died and the gate is really tiny...and cars line up to collect the tally..so we were creating a hold up and me I had a short dress on with make up...me I was already sweating cos I was so embarrassed...thts hw with one hand holding my short dress and the other pushing the car until we cud get on a freeway...with tht I had to pull a fast and furious move and jump into the car sharply...so tht he didn't have to press the brake. Even with all this I didn't mind, still really liked him until I found out he was actually dating someone else already.......imagine

The thing is I don't have a problem with girls tht want to be ride or die chicks....but I think as you get older you become sensible....I dnt think I cn form a ride or die chick at this my age...like I cnt have a boyfriend who would cheat on me like five times and even get some one pregnant and I will still be forming ride or die chick...thts nonsense..it just shows the boy is not loyal and doesn't respect you. Or a boy that all he does is collect money from you..like there's nothing wrong with helping ur bf but even you sef u would knw wen the person is playing on your intelligence. Me I think wen ppl stay in those kind of relationships..it's cos the sex is really good....am just saying..cos why would you be sad all the time in your relationship and still stick with it..trust me..love should not be hard.

Can you guys remember tht guy I told u about tht liked driving my car and would just increase the AC to the highest...if am forming ride or die with tht one...shey my AC won't hv spoilt since..loool. Seriously am all for me and a boy building our dreams together...I really don't care if a boy is rich or not...just because he's nt rich nw doesn't mean he cnt be later in the future....am all for ambitions, goals, promising future...a hardworking guy shikena. But wen a boy starts being disloyal and disrespectful to ur relationship...then it's time to move on...ain't nobody gat time for tht...esp wen u are in your middle twenties...leave the ride or die chick attitude for the teenagers...

I hp you enjoyed this post....see you guys next week Wednesday....

Valentine's Day of Life

Hey guys....I know its been a minute bt this absence is actually nt my fault...went to Nigeria for the holidays and the internet situation in Naija is just horrible....bt am back in my beloved country...and finally back online. So I actually had this post planned for awhile now but then the internet ish happened...so sorry it's coming so soon to valentine's day

So the 'love season' is here again.....*rme*...I actually enjoy valentine's day..I knw ppl find it weird wen I say tht cos valentine's day is supposed to be a horrible day for single ppl...well not me...I count it as a holiday cos I get to stuff myself with chocolates and cake without feeling guilty...also the price of chocolates reduce drastically...joy to my world.

Anyways enuf abt me..this post was originally intended for my single readers but after talking to some of my friends in a relationship...I realize most of them actually dread this particular day....so I decided to change the focus of the post. Okay so I was talking to a friend of mine in a relationship and I was teasing him about valentine's day...nd he jst lashed out saying am tired of getting gifts jare...wts the fuss  sef...u cn see it was all the bottled up anger coming out and I had to calm him down and reorientate abt Val's day

The thing couples don't realize is that they are the ones tht put the pressure on themselves concerning Val's day...life is not that hard. I know tht boy's girlfriend and trust me she was not expecting any gifts....she was tired of receiving gifts sef....and I told the boy it doesn't have to be all about gifts....why don't you do some practical and fun stuff with your partner that doesn't cost any money at all. 

Like if you know you and your partner are spiritual people and are serious abt your relationship...why don't both of you spend it in a fast and end with prayers abt your relationship...also set some goals. Okay if that's not your cup of tea...why don't you do sweet things for each other...leave notes for each other or send a romantic message..that might not be something u do normally or even like to do esp if u are a closet romantic like me but at least your bf/gf knows how hard it was for u nd tht makes the effort more worthwhile.

People need to get the materialistic mentality they have about Val's day....it's nt all abt material things...as I hv become much older...I realize I really don't want gifts on Val's day...I think it's too cliche...the guy should surprise me on other days with gifts....also most of the Val's gifts ppl give out are too generic...not so much thought is put into it.

So on Val's day...couples don't be scared...dnt put pressure on each other..if u are lucky enough to be in a relationship with someone you love and is in love with you..that's a blessing on its own...be thankful for tht and just think of ways you can fall in love with each other over and over again...nd forget abt the gifts. To all my single ppl....pls no misery is allowed on Val's day...be thankful for life..be hopeful that you would soon find the one... and also drink plenty of wine and eat lots of chocolate.

Love and In Love

Hello blogfam...hp you had a grt weekend...mine was great, had a fantastic pool party, so u know its the Beyonce season..this is me channeling my inner beyonce..getting all personal and stuff on this post. Okay so I was going thru Linda Ikeji's blog few days ago and I saw a post on loving someone and being in love with someone. The funniest thing is i have been thinking about the same topic for awhile now and reading the comments on that post has just compounded my fears.

People never seem to understand when I tell them that being in love is different from loving someone. I can love someone and not be in love with them....when you are in love with someone, you can practically do anything for the person..u dont even have any interest in cheating and you would go to any length to see the person happy....while you loving someone means maybe you have been with the person for awhile and then you become comfortable and feel secure with the person...

I believe if you are in love with someone...you can never get tired or bored of the person or the relationship. People will rather love someone than be in love with the person, because being in love means your guard is down and that's scary. Also I think its easier for a girl to fall in love with a boy...rather than a boy falling in love with the girl

One of the reasons why I have not found a bf is cos I have felt what it feels like to be in love with someone and now my biggest fear is that I wont find someone who would be in love with me. I actually think its a great disservice to yourself to settle in a relationship but its hard cos looking at all the relationships around me...I have found only one relationship where i can see that the boy is in love with the girl......all the other ones, the girls are the ones in love.

Anyways enuf of the story..i just hope my wish comes true and I can fall in love with someone who will also be in love with me.

So what do you guys think..do you think there's a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone ...or  do you think its just fairytale.......

The 21st Century Gold-Diggers

 
Happy new year blogfam..welcome to 2014. May it be a year of extraordinary success, Favour and joy....First of all I hv to apologize for my long unexplained absence....am soooooo sorry. I got really busy with school work and when I got on break...I just became too lazy to post anything. Hp u guys forgive me?

So you know how guys can never stop talking about how girls are gold-diggers and all they want is their money...blah blah...okay maybe some girls like to ask boys for money but boys enjoy giving the girls....anyways all that one has changed ....we now have a new breed of gold-diggers...nd who are the mighty ones..drumroll please......BOYS

Boys are the new gold-diggers...u guys think am lying...just keep reading...the thing is you may not notice cos boys dig for gold with style and panache....even you tht they are digging the gold from sef will probably not notice...you would just think its love and affection....

Okay so am back in Naija for hols...nd it's bin pretty fun...okay so there's this guy..let's call him Mr Y, Mr Y and I met through a friend and we had been chatting for awhile....he stays in Naija..so we planned to meet up wen I cme to Naija...during all the time we were chatting on the phone, I noticed some things like he never has money...thts all he ever spoke abt...also wen we started chatting...the first thing he wrote was 'My Princess'...*eyes rolling* bt am trying not be judgmental...so I didn't say anything but my antennas went up.

So wen I got back to Naija..we decided to meet up at a restaurant..trust me he was not my idea..wud rather go to a cinema or something more fun...restaurant dates are boring and you have to talk a lot...anyways we met up at a fast food place....wen I saw him, he seemed very cool and we were really getting on well..the time to order nw came...me am on a diet...so I just ordered for rice and fish, and thts how our uncle started to order...he ordered for pounded yam, Efo Riro, chicken, fish, assorted meat ..also 4 meat pies and two pieces of chicken as takeaway...I was sha looking at him...he was like do you want anything else..I was like no am okay...he was like order anything oo..dnt be shy...me looking at his food..I said we are past being shy..,trust me. Mr Y was sha eating...I was already getting irritated cos he kept making sounds with his mouth and also talking with his mouth full.

He finally finished eating and had the rest packed up for him...the bill now came...me I was already planning to go dutch....spilt the bill with him...the bill was 8k...so I brought out 3k...Mr Y was like dnt insult me now...am the one tht wanted to take you out..dnt form miss independent here..so I smiled and kept my money..only for Mr Y to get a constipated look on his face and frantically started searching for something...I was like wtsup...he was like we might hv to run from this restaurant..l was like Huh..I even thought he was joking at first....wt does tht mean...he said I didn't bring my wallet...I forgot it and at tht time..I think the waiters already guessed wt happened..they were already looking at us suspiciously. I cud nt even believe wt I was hearing...I just stood up and went to the counter and asked if I cud pay with my ATM...thankfully I could...I did and I just walked out of the restaurant without looking back. Immediately I got into my car...I cud not stop laughing cos it just seemed like a Nollywood movie....I just had to call and tell my friend....funniest thing Eva

So can you guys see wat am saying abt boys...Mr Y has been calling non-stop...cnt be bothered to pick...it's nt even abt the money...it's the fact tht he insulted me by suggesting we run from the restaurant....looool and tht he thot I wud actually comply....oshi...Also can you guys remember Mr B...who would leave his own car to drive mine and wud start driving with so much force and speed...also put the AC on the highest and be acting like someone tht has Neva been inside AC before...

So boys should stop complaining cos they have taken ova from girls....so what do you guys think?

Hv a grt week guys...a new post will be up soon