Unattractive

Hey blogfam, so I have been keeping a secret from you guys for the past two weeks, I finally got a boyfriend, don't get too excited yet cos I was so excited too, was already thinking about blog name change also getting to share the good news with you guys but alas it was not meant to be. The boy let's call him Mr D and I broke up few days ago, I swear am not the one with the issues lool...so back to my single status *sighs*

I was thinking about the break up and the things guys do that just make them so unattractive like Mr D and I had just been dating for two seconds when he asked me to lend him N100k because he broke someone's Iphone, the first thought that came to my mind was when you know you don't have money for Iphone, why are you holding it. I told him I didn't have the money because honestly I didn't but I was so surprised he was asking me for that amount of money when we had practically just started dating. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping my boyfriend but this was the second time he was asking for money and such things make my guard go up. The same boys hate girls asking them for money is the same way a boy asking for money all the time is unattractive, we don't mind helping but not everyday asking.

The second thing is when guys are pessimistic, this is a pet peeve of mine. My friend introduced me to this guy, let's call him Mr O, well spoken, funny and articulate but when ever we had a conversation, I felt drained cos the guy was so negative about everything. All he would talk about is how he doesn't think he can make it in life, how he thought his height was a curse because he is too tall, how he never has money. Just imagine a conversation with that kind of person, I didn't understand how a thirty year old man could be so pessimistic and negative about life, and that attitude was just so unattractive, it turned me off completely. When I couldn't take it anymore, I gave him a lecture about how negative he was and deleted him off my bbm, lord knows I don't need any more negativity in my life.

The last thing I find very unattractive in guys is the ones that whine and throw themselves a pity party, especially when they think you have 'connections to help them and so all they do is talk about how there's no job, how life is hard or that all they do is sit at home, if only they knew me too am looking for the 'connections' too. Like you are a man and God has made you the provider and head of your family, you won't be able to fulfil that position if all you do is have a pity party every time life knocks you down, pull up your bootstraps and hustle till you make it.  No girl wants to date a whiner or someone who is not ambitious or ready to hustle. Whining especially when guys do it is just sooooo unattractive. 

So these are a few things that I find so unattractive. What do you find unattractive in a boy or girl?

Broken

Lord knows it took me a while to get inspired to write a post for this week, as I was contemplating shutting down the blog, but I met someone who said she loves my blog and a late night conversation with a friend sparked my inspiration for this post.

My male friend believes girls want a broken guy, someone that is malleable and compliant, that can  be turned, twisted and changed till he suits the girl, but I disagree with him, I don't think any girl wants a guy that she has to change or teach the right things to do in a relationship. Being in a relationship is already stressful enough that I don't think any girl wants a boy that can't take charge.

For example, I was dating this guy that never called or put my picture on bbm, yes I like things like that, don't judge lool. I started talking about putting my picture up because he always had his ex-girlfriend's picture up all the time, so I knew it was not like I was trying to change him because it was something he always did before we started dating.

Speaking further with my friend, I understood what he was saying about a girl wanting to change a boy , it's probably in every female's nature, we are nurturing and mothering and my friend agreed boys don't necessarily push themselves. So a girl can make some changes to a boy's life to push him to his dreams or make life easier for him. Like when I was with Mr S, he was such a serious person, didn't like to do fun things if he thought something would make him look silly, he won't do it but I coaxed him into trying some new things while we were together, am sure people will see this as trying to change him. I probably was but evidently it was all done to make him have a happier life.

I agree girls might like to change boys but I don't agree girls want a broken guy naaa...maybe some girls whom I have never met or heard of. As much as nobody can be perfect, a girl still wants her own Mr Right and Perfect, at least you start dating someone because they have the qualities you want, so why change that? When in a relationship, everyone should and want to retain their individuality because that's what makes the relationship fun but your individualities should be compatible enough to become unified.

My friend also owns a blog, you can check it out at http://the18thbook.wordpress.com/

So what do you think? Do you think we girls want a broken man so we cn change him completely?

Kissing Frogs

 I really can't wait for my prince to arrive, am tired of kissing frogs lool. I need him to ride in on his chariot and save me from this dating world because the boys I am meeting lately ehn, I don't know if it's me or it's them..i think it's them tho.

My friends keep introducing me to boys that I don't even understand where they got them from, am calling all my friends out on this blog, leave me alone, Biko don't introduce to boys again..I don't want. Imagine my friend introducing me to a boy that spells 'stew' as 'steal', 'kind' as 'can' and it goes on and on..imagine. I could not stop thinking about my life when my friend introduced me to the boy, is that she thought oh Jumoke can't speak English too, so let's join them together. So friends especially the bestie cool it with the set-ups, still love you tho.

It's getting harder to not settle, you know, meet someone and just manage to like them and then start dating, but not me though, since I felt what it was like to be in love, I can't settle and be confined to a lifetime of unhappiness.

Recently, a guy who I had liked for awhile, even before Mr S sef, and he finally asked me out, which I had wanted for awhile, but I could not say yes, because I knew I would be settling. Like he had messed up a year before when I first met and he was always talking about how much he loved me eventhough he had a girlfriend that I didnt know about, but  even though he has broken up with the girl. I still don't trust him and going into a relationship with trust issues would not end well.

I just want someone that loves, support and cherishes me, and also honest, why is it so hard to find? Where is the Prince for Princess Jumoke? lool A male friend even scared me the other day when he said there are no more honest guys, is that true boys that honest men are no more in existence?

Anyways you dont even have to answer, I know my prince is on the way..gosh the 'prince' word is so cringey tho, am not one for all those romantic ish but I had to use it so that you would understand my predicament.

That's all for today. See you next wednesday, and get prepared for the gist I have next week. Xoxo