Friends with The Ex?

 Hi guys....am back again. So this post is inspired by a reader of this blog, she wanted me to bring up this topic of Can you be friends with your ex, especially if he hurt you really badly. And she also asked if its right or wrong.

Hmm first of all I don't think it has to do with being right or wrong, it has to do with you...having said that, I don't even know how to answer the other part of the question because I think it's different strokes for people...but am going to use my past relationships to answer this question. I actually believe you can be friends with your ex but definitely not immediately after the relationships because the memories are still raw and probably painful, like with my first relationship, I think first relationships are the coolest but the saddest when you break up because I believe there's always so much love in the relationship. So when I broke up with my first boyfriend, my world crumbled, I was a mess and I cried everyday, both of us didn't hurt each other but we just realized it was no working but it took me a while to be friends with him, I actually deleted his number, deleted him from my Facebook....after a year when I knew I was in a better place and stronger...I decided to be friends with him.

It was different with my second relationship, I really really liked the guy, we were unofficial for a year and two months after we made it official, we broke up because we both had issues and he did things that hurt me but I still liked him, and I decided to remain friends with when we broke up but it was the hardest thing ever....I could not just be friends with him, it took like two years of no contact with him to actually get to a place where I could at least be civil with him...but even up to now, I really don't want to be friends with him.

As for me I like to remain friends with my ex but definitely not immediately after we break up and I have been lucky enough for them not to hurt me badly but judging from my friends experiences, I think if the guy hurt you really badly and is now begging to be your friend, it all depends on you, if you think you can handle, then be his friend but if you think you are not ready then cut him out of your life at least till you sort out your emotions and can handle it, I always tell my friends give it a year or two.

But if you don't want to be at all...I don't think it's a problem, even though I have heard people say its childish not to be friends with your ex or if you delete him off bbm and your contacts, I don't think so, I just believe its because you don't want his negative energy around you.

As I said earlier, it's different strokes for different people, everyone has a different view and approach to this situation. It all depends on you and what you think. If you think you want the friendship and you can handle it, then go for it, if not,cut him out of your life. Shikena

So you guys what do you think of this...Can you be friends with your ex? Do you think it's a right or wrong situation? Can't wait to hear from you guys. Have a great week